1. People & Relationships

Readers Respond: Would You Let Your Man Go to Strip Clubs?

Responses: 81

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Men with wives or longtime girlfriends sometimes want to go to strip clubs for bachelor parties or just because they feel like it. Some women are uncomfortable with strip clubs and don't want the men in their lives to go to them. Others join their husband or boyfriend and find going to the strip club gives a boost to their sex life. Still others are all right with husbands or boyfriends going to strip clubs as long as they don't get a lap dance or follow other rules they establish together. What do you think? Do you have rules? Tell us how you feel about strip clubs. Tell Us Why or Why Not

Not in our relationship

I'm never going to be okay with my husband going to the strip club. Doesn't matter if he is just going with friends and promises not to get a lap dance. I don't know why women make excuses for the men that they are with to go and that men have somehow convinced women that this is an acceptable experience in a long-term relationship or marriage. It will eventually break trust in your relationship and if my husband went, you would bet that it would be over. I married my husband expecting us to respect each other and part of that is not getting rubbed by a naked woman!
—milly8386

Not in my book!!

I don't think its right for any man in a serious relationship especially (married) going to any strip club. That is so disrespectful. It is not okay to let your man look and getting off on another female, who is not his girlfriend or wife. To me those are signs of him cheating or a willingness to cheat. I know of some MEN out there who love their women so much that they don't even find any interest in going out to strip clubs, don't even like watching porn. They don't even care if there is a piece of T and A hanging out. They wouldn't even look. So ladies, if you have a cold hearted type bf who keeps doing what he is doing and you tell him it hurts you and they don't care, get rid of him. It hurts at first but you will get sick and tired of his bs someday. Just leave because it's not worth getting stressed out all the time over the same stuff. It's his loss, not yours.
—Guest Britney

IDK

Yes, as long he don't touch or do anything crazy...
—Guest Sophia

Depends

Luckily, my husband is not into strip clubs. So, they only come up when there's a bachelor party. I am not comfortable with it, but I don't tell him he can't go. He offered not to go, but I felt badly because this is his friend's night. He is not a big drinker either, so he volunteered as DD. That always makes me feel good knowing everyone will be safe. But the biggest thing is before he left I grabbed him and threw him down on the bed and gave him the most mind blowing BJ ever!!! I was kind of in a jealous-prove-myself way, so it was very enthusiastic! He still talks about that one. So when he got home he told me going to a strip club sober, post orgasm made him see even more how dumb they are. And when some of his friends were chiding him about his lack of interest in the girls he told them first if you saw them with sober eyes you'd understand, then he also told them about the intense release session with me beforehand (it's ok they are sex talk friends). Then, they were all jealous.
—Guest May

My husband goes all the time.Just kiddin

He went two times because he was the best man, plus he is the awkward guy watching his friends have fun. Every time i hear the word strip club, it gives me an uneasy feeling. I don't hate the dancers, I'm not jealous, I'm not a hater, I just don't feel females should dance for hungry dogs. I know all men are not dogs. But why make the beautiful female body available to men so easily? Money is the root of all evil. In my opinion, I would rather work a hard long week to get paid. Thankfully, I found a man who dislikes the strip clubs more than I do. My husband wouldn't want me dancing or shaking my booty in anyone's face but his. LOL. All I'm saying is I'm glad my husband is on the same page as me with this one. Plus if he wanted to go on a normal Friday night to the strip club, I wouldn't stop him but just know we would be fighting. I'm not going to let a dog live in my house; go sleep in the dog house with the dogs. I'm lucky to have someone who shares the same morals as me. Good luck!
—Guest Lucy

Mine went and came back smelling like a

He tells me he didn't do anything. Yet his face is covered in glitter and he smelled like another woman. I found out only because I accused him of cheating. He left with $200 and came back with $7! He lied about where he was going. Said the glitter came from the tables. I wanna know if he's lying.
—Guest guest sad

i trust him but not ppl he is with!!

MY BOYFRIEND GOES. I'VE BEEN A FEW TIMES WITH HIM AND WHEN I WENT ALL HE DID WAS DRINK BEER AND BE SO SWEET TO ME LIKE THERE WASN'T ANYONE ELSE AROUND. BUT LATELY HE HAS BEEN GOING WITHOUT ME, WITH THE GUYS FROM WORK. I UNDERSTAND THAT HE SHOULD SPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS, BUT WHY MUST THEY GO TO STRIP CLUBS? MOST OF THE PEOPLE HE IS WITH ARE SINGLE, OR JUST DON'T CARE... AND IT'S A LITTLE UNSETTLING. HE HAS NEVER CAME HOME SMELLING LIKE ANOTHER WOMAN OR ANY OF THAT! WHENEVER HE GOES HE STAYS AT THE APARTMENT WITH THE GUYS FROM WORK, WHICH I BELEIVE. HE TAKES AMAZING CARE OF ME, BUYS ME NICE THINGS AND I BELIEVE HE LOVES ME MORE THAN I THINK LOL. SHOULD I BE WORRIED OR IS HE JUST BLOWING OFF SOME STEAM WITH THE GUYS?
—Guest Sallie

canturnouttobebad

I accompanied my husband twice to a strip club. The first time it was fun. He got a lap dance (no touching) and was definitely aroused, no harm there. The next time we went, he got a really hot stripper. He touched the stripper everywhere. His lips brushed against her skin and boobs dangling near his mouth. This went on for about 15 minutes, and he enjoyed her very much. I was ok at that time thinking he had fun. But later on our way back home, I felt very strange. I didn't want him to touch me again and had constant images of him and the stripper flashing in my mind whenever we had sex after that. It's been a while but I don't think I can get over it! We fought so many times after that for no real reason, and I'm sure he doesn't even know how I felt/feel. It was my idea to go there. I knew what could happen there and was ok. Surprisingly, I didn't take it as well as I thought I would. So, if you are brave enough, do it or else let him go and you just don't see him touching other women.
—Guest notahotwife

hypocrisy

If it's a question of "letting your man" go, expect him to want it even more. Imagine an article on "letting your woman" do anything. Get over your controlling inhibitions.
—Guest male perspective

This is not okay

If your husband is okay with you acting like a stripper or your children doing it, then maybe he respects the strippers as human beings, but probably he is just sicker than you initially are being let on to believe. So, everyone who thinks this is okay, be sure and let your spouse know that you are totally okay with him rubbing himself naked against a stranger until he ejaculates. I would not stay married to someone who is into this. I would much rather be alone. I think people who go to these places are sometimes enjoying the 1% who are having fun doing it (good for them), but usually they are taking advantage of someone who was raped or molested, or is being compelled by desperation. Compelling sex acts is pretty rapey. If everyone who patronizes these places were to drop dead, the world would be significantly better.
—Guest Name goes here

I am a dancer

Lauraloveshair I am an exotic dancer (stripper) or whatever you may call it. Your question was about whether or not it was okay for your husband to get a dancer's phone number. No, it is not okay, just like it is not okay for your husband to exchange phone numbers with the woman from the coffee shop or the night club. We as dancers have no attraction to the men who come in 90% of the time. We give out our numbers to lead these poor fools on to believing they have a chance with sleeping with us, so that they will come back to the strip club and spend more money on us. We tease and flaunt and perform mind manipulation to its finest. Most men who come in are in relationships. We continue taking their money and justify it in our minds as karma for being unfaithful to their lovers. The men who go go strip clubs are dogs, womanizers, and cheaters. Occassionaly, there is that one guy who has been dragged out by his friends and sits in the corner awkwardly... but that is rare.
—Guest dancer

this is a joke right

OK children ...your man goes to one and that's a fact! So since he does and will continue.to ... grow up. If this has put that much drama in your life, what will you do when real trouble comes? My wife and I enjoy going together, and we both get lap dances. And I don't mind her going to see guys strip. It's absolutely nothing, and I love her more than words can say. It is fun and that's all. I suggest you go with him if you can get out of yourself long enough because he is gonna go. We have been married a long time and if this is a super issue for you, your relationship is in deep doodoo. It's funny, this is never an issue when Oprah has strippers on her show. Then, it's all fun. But a man goes to one omg. All I can say is just try to keep your guy away from one. That will work. It's women who hate their body and like dressing for comfort, then you see a hot chick with sexy on. And it's not you who drives you crazy. This has nothing to do with trust, it's self.
—Guest fgh

if this is dangerous to a relationship.

My wife and I are not newlyweds. We are together. A few things -if a strip club would be enough to destroy your bond and love, then you have nothing. If you're young, you will experience a lot worse than that. My wife and I both go and have fun and it's not an issue because we don't make it one. We have developed many fun memories going to them. My wife would say wives who really have a problem with them have developed these opinions based on fear of super hot chicks, jealousy issues, and immaturity. I enjoy my wife having fun and she can go to men dancers any time she wants but likes going to clubs for guys better. It can be very fun. Your man will go whether you like it or not ..all men including yours go, so you should go with him and see if your fears are even worth it. When you're young there is jealousy on steroids. When you get more mature you realize it's dumb to think something dumb will steal your man. So, go with him because I bet the farm he has and will continue. ALL MEN DO! NOT MY MAN ....YES YOURS!
—Guest 30yearstillus

Really?

You're right, it is all about trust. To me, it sounds like he doesn't trust his wife. He didn't want to tell her because he knew she would fly off the handle. He did his best to not tell her but failed. Likely, he wanted to go out with his friends and have fun. Frequently and typically, its not even about the girls. It's about the guys hanging out and actually being guys, not castrated men, which happens when the women in their lives are controlling.
—Guest Really?

Not in my books!

Absolutely not. It's not "letting" your boyfriend or husband go to a strip club. I'm not going to hold a gun to his head if he goes. But he has a choice, me or the strip club. Plain and simple. It's not about being insecure, it's about having respect for the person you claim to love. If he's allowed to go to a strip club, then I'm gonna go out and become a stripper. Only fair, right? I think so!
—Guest Disgusted

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Would You Let Your Man Go to Strip Clubs?

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