From the article: Should Your Husband Go to a Strip Club?
Men with wives or longtime girlfriends sometimes want to go to strip clubs for bachelor parties or just because they feel like it. Some women are uncomfortable with strip clubs and don't want the men in their lives to go to them. Others join their husband or boyfriend and find going to the strip club gives a boost to their sex life. Still others are all right with husbands or boyfriends going to strip clubs as long as they don't get a lap dance or follow other rules they establish together. What do you think? Do you have rules? Tell us how you feel about strip clubs. Tell Us Why or Why Not
I'm glad I'm not the only one
- I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't want her husband going to "watch" strippers. He recently missed out on a co-worker's bachelor party. The stories I have heard about said party make me so angry. Strippers picking $ bills off the men's foreheads with their vagina, the men licking whipped cream off their bodies and other absolute bull. If your man tells you there's "no touching," he is lying. And if you're a married woman who is ok with another woman's vagina on your man's face, you disappoint me. I have been to strip clubs. Most of those girls will break the rules without hesitation. I don't care if it's all in good fun, I am NOT ok with my husband going to a strip club. I think it's disrespectful and hurtful and in my opinion it's cheating. There's nothing that says "life long commitment" before getting married like going to get your rocks off on someone other than your significant other. What a screwy tradition. But that's our modern society, I guess.
- —Guest Lindsay
rofl
- Lol many of you women on here are saying you would not allow your man go to a strip club. Well what about on his stag night when his mates get him a stripper? And another thing what about a lady's night out before her big day? Her buddies are going to either get you a male stripper or go to a male strip bar and don't say men would go and cheat on you with one of the sluts because women are just as bad as men are so don't say men are pure slags cause yours are too.
- —Guest nathan
Not right
- I've thought about it a lot and have decided that it isn't right for someone in a devoted relationship to go to a strip club. To say that it is fun is so demeaning. To also take money that comes from our shared household and give it to women for up-close encounters with their bodies is wrong. I've tried to understand justifications of it being okay, but I just can't. There is no benefit to experiencing someone's naked body that wouldn't be wrong to your partner.
- —Guest Lisa
Hell No!
- Strip clubs and strippers degrade women. Most of these girls are just 18 years old and have been sexually abused as a child. Eighty percent of strippers are also part-time prostitutes. There is no way that I would let my husband go to a strip club or hire a private stripper for a bachelor party, etc... It is sinful and morally wrong. Ladies, do you really know what goes on during bachelor parties? Believe me, it isn't just the girl dancing and taking her clothes off. Most men participate in sexual games and actually have physical contact with the stripper. Lap dances are cheating in my eyes. Google what a lap dance really is, and I bet you wouldn't want your husband to get one. It is as close to intercourse as you can get. I vote NO to bachelor parties that have strippers or going to strip clubs, especially if the men are already married.
- —Guest Susan
Breathing Room
- I'm a married man for 10 years,and I've gone to gentleman's clubs with and without my wife before. We do have a sacred bond, which I think is made better by the amount of trust she gives me. Unlike many men, I don't tend to betray trust that is given to me, but I think most of this is due to her respect for me and mine for her. She understands that I am a visual creature and that I understand to "look but don't touch." This doesn't mean I am constantly ogling pretty women, but that I can appreciate a beautiful woman and the parts that God programmed me to be attracted to. I understand that strip clubs have ruined marriages (or at least pushed a trustless marriage over the precipice), but there are rational people who visit them and understand that it's an uncommon event, which serves as a temporary masculinity boost, or spice to life. My wife also has visited male stripper clubs, and I am okay with this due to the trust I have in her.
- —Guest Man
Ugly Woman Culture
- Ugly women put up with this behavior because they HAVE to! Then, the mindset is passed down through the generations and women who don't put up with it are made to feel guilty or insecure if they don't go along with the "ugly culture." Ladies, if your guy can't put this behavior aside once you're in his life, time to find another one! There's plenty of fish in the sea... at least for women with options, a backbone, and a standard of behavior that's right for their relationships!
- —Guest Kathy
NO
- Watch them! After 30 years, they still lie to the end.
- —Guest frustrated
Why do you care?
- I’m a feminist. This term to me means I diligently respect each individual for his or her similarities and differences no matter their biological gender or gender identity. Men and women are not the only categories individuals identify with or even biologically are comprised of. Hermaphrodites for example are individuals who have both male and female parts. As part of the human species I believe, as a feminist human beings must evolve. We must push social norms, we must question, and most of all human beings must strive for peace and tolerance among the species. Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Jesus all recognized human beings as individually worthy of utilizing/sharing unique abilities which we should encourage among each other for mutual benefit. Strip clubs are apart of our current culture. They simply exist because of a social framework called Patriarchy. This term literally means "rule of fathers",[2][3] from πατριάρχης (patriarkhēs), "father" or "chief of a race.
- —Guest Elizabeth
NO STRIP CLUBS!!!
- My boyfriend whom I plan on spending the rest of my life with, used to tell me he'd never go to a strip club. He reckons if his mates ever hired a stripper, he'd be respectful and wouldn't be a typical bloke and be up front row checking it all out. He stopped watching porn when we got together because of how I feel about it, and I have loved him so much for it. Tonight, he tells me his counsellor questioned him on why he wouldn't go to a strip club for a bachelors. Now he's changed his mind about it, and he's telling me that he should be able to go and that I am irrational. I am prepared to break off the relationship with him because of this. It's a moral I have within myself, my upbringing, that has always turned me right against that sort of thing. I cherrish my body, and I think couples in a serious relationship should devote each other physically and mentally to each other. I am so torn up right now, I know I am never going to change. I know I need to walk away.... :'(
- —Guest Hurting...
Husbands with and w/o wife
- My first trip to a strip club while married was when my wife was curious about what went on, the second was for me, the third she asked to go. Why? When you can eliminate jealousy and enjoy each other in that environment, it is merely stimulation for each other for later. Yet, when a man goes without his wife, I see a serious flaw. Seriously, a man that goes alone cares nothing but for his own stimulation. As a couple, the entire game changes. If you have an image of seeing your hubby drooling over women while you watch, you're wrong. He will be looking for you to look at the women and interacting with you more than those naked ones. For me and my wife going to a strip club once every few months is sex play, foreplay. It is what you make it and how you see it will show how insecure or secure you are.
- —Guest Chris
Oh no a naked woman!
- Really it's all just for fun. I have been married for five years and it has never bothered me for my husband to go to a strip club. Heck I have even gone with friends on girls night out and I have gone with my husband. I trust my husband and know he would not be stupid enough to hook up with a stripper. If your husband isn't getting what he needs at, home he will find it somewhere whether it's a stripper or a secretary at his office. I would not be happy if he was going by himself every weekend, but if it's twice a year with buddies, what is the big deal? There are complete Web sites devoted to helping married people cheat. Not letting your husband go to a strip club won't stop him. We have a wonderful marriage and love each other more than anything. If your husband would be willing to throw out your marriage over a stripper, blame the husband not the girl.
- —Guest Liz
when the goods dont work
- Truth be told any woman who is okay with her husband or boyfriend going to strip bars and saying that if he doesn't touch, it's not cheating and as long as he comes home to me has low self-worth, and it's sad. Like there are many forms of lying, so are there of adultery. If a man goes from Playboys to porn to strip bars, he's showing that the chances of it getting physical are likely. How do we really know what he does or wants to do or is willing to do? That's scary. Fact is there will be a day when the goods don't work. He may still go to strip bars to try and get worked up but when he comes home frustrated, and can't even get aroused. His body may not have stepped out but all else did. You want the leftovers you want to be his rebound go-to girl. He gets hard from another woman, then gets taken care of by you while he's thinking of the other. Does that really make the physical any more meaningful?
- —Guest april
speaking from experience
- I just recently - two days ago - found out that my husband was going to strip bars and getting lap dances. We have three kids and have been together for 11 years. I have struggled with my husband looking at porn, leaving me for days talking dirty to other women he goes to school with and now strip bars. I think that if the world didn't exploit women and sex, the mind of a male wouldn't be overstimulated and subjected to temptation. Men were created to be more visual and physical, and those things are easily played on. As time goes by, as things become more common and frequent, the world sees it as a social norm. Corrupting our kids and enticing our men. But if women didn't pose for Playboy, or make porn or strip, there wouldn't be such a variety of sex appeal ruining marriages. As men are selfish for wanting to look at it, so is a woman using it for money, power, and control. Men no longer value a woman for her mind as well as her body. We're seen for the flesh, nothing else. We're basically holes to fill.
- —Guest april
promotions
- I feel that if you go to work everyday, bad weather, sick whatever - you work your butt off to succeed, to be seen, to shine for a promotion. And your boss comes in to announce who will receive the promotion, and he gives it to about everyone there even the ones who fail to work hard and give their all and had only been there a few weeks. This would be hurtful it would make you feel so low, insignificant, that your hard work was overlooked and not valued. I look at going to strip bars this way - a woman is taking a leap entrusting her body and heart and feeling to a man with the mind set she is a little more special than the other women because he chose to have his eyes and heart and needs fulfilled by her but then he brings in porn, strip bars, he just made her like a khaki color bland, no different than another, not more special then they he see you naked and sees them.
- —Guest april
personal pain
- There are many kinds of pain physical, verbal, emotional, and then there is sexual betrayel which i feel is really hard to forgive. Sex and allowing your self to be seen naked is like putting yourself out there. Usually a lady doesn't just walk around town naked or have sex with every man she sees. So, the man she chooses to do so is being given a different kind of trust. Sex and the nude body is a personal thing - physically, mentally, emotionally. When a man has the need for another woman, regardless of the form he is taking, that woman's self-esteem, trust, and gift of entrusting herself to share her body is thrown away. Sex and the nude body is something to be appreciated, valued, respected and treasured, not treated like another flavor of ice cream, or a toy just misused and thrown away with no care or regard.
- —Guest april
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