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Readers Respond: Would You Let Your Man Go to Strip Clubs?

Responses: 39

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Men with wives or longtime girlfriends sometimes want to go to strip clubs for bachelor parties or just because they feel like it. Some women are uncomfortable with strip clubs and don't want the men in their lives to go to them. Others join their husband or boyfriend and find going to the strip club gives a boost to their sex life. Still others are all right with husbands or boyfriends going to strip clubs as long as they don't get a lap dance or follow other rules they establish together. What do you think? Do you have rules? Tell us how you feel about strip clubs.

I'm a married man

No, I personally do not think it's okay. I don't do it although I've been invited several times by coworkers. My wife means the world to me, and I feel it would be hurtful to her if I went. We have never discussed it that's just how I feel. I do notice attractive women; I'm guilty of looking as I believe most of us are. I think going out with that intention or going to an adult club is cheating and is wrong.
—Guest Sid

really?

Why do we as women feel like this is OK and that we should accept our spouses for doing this? Is it okay for us to go out to dinner with another, perhaps younger, smarter, more successful young man who keeps all of his clothes on but is still polite, conversational and intelligent?
—Guest roberta

simply betrayed

My husband went this past weekend. We have seriously talked about how I think it is disrespectful for a man, especially a married man, to go to a strip club. It's not about trust. I trust my husband, it's about the vows we took on our wedding day to honor each other and love each other. Going against someone's comfort zone when you know her feelings on it should not be done. It is hurtful. Call it crazy if you may, but yes i feel betrayed that my husband promised me he would never do something I am not comfortable with him doing. My husband is always too tired after work to even try to make love and he comes home from a strip club and wants to turn into a freak in the bed? Then tries to tell me he didn't look at any woman while he was there. Not only do i feel disgusted that he wanted to have sex after that, but I feel lied to that it was me crying and upset that turned on him and made him want me at 3 a.m.! And for the record, no I would NEVER go to a strip club.
—nd3182

rofl

Lol, if I talked to my wife (currently have a girlfriend but still...) about me going to strip clubs I would hope she trusts me enough to know I am committed to her and won't hook up with a stripper. The fact of the matter is, my wife probably won't want to have sex or a tease or anything like that just because I said so, but girls in strip clubs are completely open. I made a vow to tell the truth when I was 11 and have not broken it, so trust me, if the girls there are legit or not I don't care, I get to look at a nice girl. That being said I would never hook up with her! If I can't get what I need I will find it somewhere be that prostitute junction or the secretary at starter, but I have morals and know that I cannot hook up with her. I have already established in my mind that my wife is the best, most beautiful, sexiest, most amicable girl I have ever met, and even if J.Lo walked up to my door and said, "I want you" I would have to say no. I should hope my wife trusts me that much!
—Guest Antonio

I am ready to explore with my husband

So I've been reading all of the responses and I was just like the women on here that think it's disgusting and disrespectful for a man to go to the strip club when he is in a relationship with me. I say with me because I know for a fact that there are healthy marriages that can go out and have this fun together. I recently had a change in my perspective around my husband getting turned on by other women. It took yelling, crying, slamming doors and me almost walking out on our marriage for me to come to the conclusion that it is human nature to be attracted to other people. I found myself extremely angry and jealous and hurt when my man looked at other women. But there was a flip side I just couldn't admit, I was turned on by it. I too am attracted to women and have pushed this deep down and not done anything with it except masturbate. I felt the same way about porn. I had to come totally clean with my husband and tell him that I was turned on when I thought about him with other women.
—Guest jax

makes me sad

Men drive me CRAZY!!! I've been with my guy for five years now. Together we've experienced going to strip club 3 times. But I only did it to satisfy him and only him. It made me so sad to see him looking at other girls. What made me feel gross was that he would sexually touch me while looking at these women. Like really!!?? The same goes for porn...I don't understand men, such a weird species.
—Guest edith

Once a cheater, then changed.

Not sure what to say. I'm 18. My life flipped upside down when I realized his sex addiction was ruining our relationship. I changed. It changed my whole demeanor. And just because we watched porn together twice, he assumes I knew he made a sick habit out of it. That should've been a sign to him, right? My response, not for us.
—Guest emery

maybe I'm bias

Okay, personally, it's not the end of the world. But I grew up in a household where my father didnt arrive home until 5 a.m and thought it was fine. Growing up in that situation, I resent cheating. It's disgusting. If you're a wife, but you have a good man, it may honestly be harmless fun. But on the contrary I can see how it hurts. So, you have to go see a crew of naked women to be able to come home and give it to me good? WT? That's pathetic. I can understand how men totally disagree with what I'm saying, but you dont see how it can really make a woman feel like crap. It kinda hurts to know your man is going to a place where other women will be flocking around naked. Grow up.
—Guest Aarilynn

It breaks my heart

I tell my boyfriend I have no problem with him going to a strip club. I don't want to tell him that it's not okay cause I'm not controlling. I just get really upset and cry when he's not around because I feel like my body isn't good enough. I am not overweight, and I have nice-sized breasts and butt and I know it. But the small fact that my boyfriend wants to go to a strip club breaks my heart in half. Why can't he only fantasize about me? Am I not good enough? The crying isn't worth my time. I don't want a man making me feel like my body doesn't satisfy him enough to where that's all he wants. I know I sound like a drama queen but it's heart breaking :(
—Guest Sad

Of course guys would say it's ok!

It's funny how the guys call women prude or old-fashioned when it comes to strip clubs. Whoever said that it's ok for married men to go to strip clubs? I honestly believe it's cheating! Would you let a female co-worker get naked and straddle you? Is that ok? Is that cheating or just fun and the wives should just accept it? I'm sure there isn't one male who would want his wife or girlfriend to have a guy get naked and rub himself all over her or even dance naked for her. So why the hell is it ok for men to think that us women should just sit back and allow it? It's the craziest thing ever. If strip clubs are your thing, then don't get married!
—Guest Whatever

Try talking to your man...

This has been a battle that I have been struggling with here lately. My husband and I have been married a little over two years. Neither one of us has ever been to a strip club, but all his friends are constantly going and ask my husband to go. I consider it a form of cheating as well. And my husband respects me enough not to go. When you "forbid" your husband /wife from doing something that could lead to them doing it anyway. I talked to my husband and explained to him my point of view, and told him if he were to ever go I would go with him. His friends, of course, think I'm controlling and forbid him from going.. but then again they go against their wive's will. They say it's harmless and it makes them go home horny to their wives. If anybody is going to turn my husband on, it will be me. Just talk to your husband. Everybody is different. But you just gotta have boundaries.
—Guest katie

It's Cheating and Dishonest

One of the first things I'll ask a guy once we get serious is if he goes to strip clubs or would go. And once I hear his response, I tell him I consider it cheating. I will not date anyone who goes to clubs or considers them OK because it will have to be something I accept. The only person taking their clothes off for him is me. Many of these private dances involve physical touching and MORE. That is physically cheating. Would you be OK if I rubbed a man's penis or kissed him? No? Ok, then you need to not go to the club. It's not a religious thing. It's an honesty and loyalty thing.
—Guest Justwanttruth

if it were a male stripper

You would be laughing and having fun. It's the same thing flipped around. If you can handle a male dancing on you, making you have a good time and you don't wanna have sex with him, then your man can do the same with a female stripper. If he can't, then he is not a good man for you. If you couldn't handle a male doing that to you than you are not a good woman for him. Hopefully, you can find trust.
—Guest reality

Feeling sick to stomach

I made my now husband aware I had issues with this when we'd only been together 4 weeks. I told him that if he was the type of guy who wanted to continue going, then I wasn't the woman for him. I was upfront at the beginning rather than someone who would impose it on him once we were married. He chose to stay with me. Since being married he's been on 3 stag dos and visited these clubs. He's currently on one now and I feel sick to my stomach knowing that he's getting turned on by other women. Yes, I do see it as cheating. Great if some people can accept it in their relationship but I can't. You wouldn't accept your guy rubbing up against someone in a bar, so why is it acceptable that he pays to do this? I feel let down and as though there's no respect for me. I believe intimacy should be between us as a couple and that it's not ok to have this intimacy with another woman. If you want that, then stay single. I'm not a prude. We have an intimate sex life. I quite happily dance for him. Why does he need to do this?
—Guest Kit

I'm married

I'm married and my buddy is getting married in a month and he's going to a strip club. I'm his best man so I'm going to the club. I don't like strip clubs and I think it's disrespectful to my wife. I wasn't supposed to tell her about it, but I did right when I found out. She says she doesn't care, but I think she's just trying to hide her dissatisfaction.
—Guest Jason
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