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Love in Bloom

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April showers bring May flowers and lots of love into the hearts of newlyweds. Express your feelings by going on a season-themed date night. 

More Spring Stuff
Newlyweds Spotlight10

Cause for Alarm?

Thursday April 24, 2014

Recently, my sister, who lives out of state, visited us for about 10 days. While she was here, her roommate called to say that their house had been burglarized. The burglars broke down the door in broad daylight and walked off with a flat-screen TV, Wii system, 3 laptop computers, old cell phones, designer shoes and sneakers, jewelry, and our sense of security. They even toasted themselves by opening new bottles of liquor from the bar in the house. Every night when I lock my door, I think about what happened. We had been robbed - while we were at home and sleeping in our beds - when we were kids in our parents' house. My cousins returned home to catch robbers in the act a couple years ago now. So, it's not surprising that the family is losing faith in society just a wee bit. And I'm wondering if we should all get alarms on our homes. I think my sister will. What do you think? Do they work? Are they worth the cost? It's a purchase many a newlywed has considered and some have made. I'm interested to hear what others have to say about it. Leave your comments below.

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A Great Love

Monday April 21, 2014

 

Regina and Pasquale Di Meglio - Di Meglio

My parents cutting the cake at their 1978 nuptials. Photo courtesy of the Di Meglio family

My parents may as well have had an arranged marriage. My father's family knew my mother's family back when they all lived on the small island of Ischia, off the coast of Naples in Italy. When they all moved to the United States, their families would get together for big Sunday lunches replete with antipasto, meatballs, and lots of conversation. After relatives tried to fix up my father with women, who still lived in Italy, he told them he was going to ask for my mother's hand. He returned to the United States, brought a rabbit (for eating because that's what our people do) to my mother's father and asked for her hand in marriage. My grandfather, who had lived in the United States for a while at that point, responded, "You want to date my daughter, not marry her." My father insisted he wanted to marry her and dating was not necessary. My mom, who had gone to school only in America and was a working woman, said no the first few times my father asked her to marry him. Then, when the families were on the verge of war (Italians do that for this sort of thing), both my father's parents and my mother's parents agreed that the kids had to get together one more time to make peace. At the "peace treaty negotiations", my mother told my father that if he still wanted to get married, she was willing. Within six months, they said, "I do." And 10 months after the wedding, I came along. The rest is history. They've been married 35 years and never looked back. I consider theirs to be the greatest love story I know.

Why am I telling you this? Well, my parents didn't have some great courtship. There's no imaginative engagement story. There was a ring, of course. But he just gave it to her at the beach after she finally agreed. They didn't do all the navel gazing, self-reflection, or educational experiences that any of us did (and still do years into our marriage). They didn't even consider having that one year of marriage without kids replete with babymoon. They never dated other people. They jumped right into it. Now, I'm not saying this is right for everyone. Certainly, nowadays, things are more complicated than they were back in 1978 when they wed. We're not all coming from the immigrant background of my people, which supported this way of life. So, I'm not recommending you let your families fix you up and marry the first dude that comes along or anything like that. I think, however, that we make too big a deal out of everything, and I'm guilty of this, too.

Maybe we all need to take a step back, give ourselves a break, and realize that love grows over time. You don't have to feel like a lightening bolt just hit you to have a great love story. You just need to find someone who will care for you, respects you, and tries to make you happy. Of course, it has to be a two-way street. If your spouse will miss you when you're gone, then you should consider yourself lucky in love. It's pretty simple really.

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Holidays with the In-Laws

Wednesday April 16, 2014

Passover has already begun and we're smack in the middle of Holy Week with Easter right around the corner on Sunday. So, lots of people are going to be spending time with their in-laws. It's an opportunity for bonding and an easing of tensions. Or it can be a time of stress and arguing. It's up to the people involved how the day goes. Here, we've offered some advice, so everyone survives and maybe has a little fun to boot:

Holidays and In-Laws - Ease the Tension

How to Get Along with Your In-Laws

When Your In-Laws Hate You

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Distance and the Heart

Tuesday April 15, 2014

My husband and I have had to live on different continents at various points in our marriage. But until yesterday, we had been together for our longest consecutive stretch ever - one and a half years. Now that he's gone again, I am contemplating distance and the heart. When you're together every day, you do tend to take each other - or at least the fact that you're in the same room in the same country - for granted. When you're apart in a long-distance marriage, you remember to treasure every glance, every hand held, every kiss, and all the rest. I guess what I'm saying is that it is true - at least for us - that distance makes the heart grow fonder. What about for the rest of you in long-distance marriages? Does distance make the heart grow fonder or just angrier?

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