Create the right kind of ambiance.
You want the room to be romantic. Use the best bedding that you have – from soft pillowcases to a luxurious comforter. Have flowers on hand – either a beautiful bouquet or rose petals on the bed. Dim the lights (although some people like to have the lights on – it’s a personal choice). It should be a clean and safe haven for you and your husband or wife to experience your first time together. Besides putting you in the mood, it will also relax you. Of course, if you're in a hotel room, choose one that is up to your standards and sets the mood that will work best for you.
Wear something sexy.
Grannie panties could kill the vibe. Worst of all, you might not feel confident, which will make your first time far less satisfying. You should feel your personal best to enhance your pleasure and make the experience less stressful. Put on your sexiest underwear and whatever else it takes for you to feel really great about yourself.
Stress, which is natural at a time like this, might cause vaginal dryness, which can make sex more uncomfortable or painful. Menopause and hormonal changes in your menstrual cycle are also causes for vaginal dryness. The solution? Use some sort of lubrication, such as Astroglide or KY, to create more moisture for friction. Open the tube of lube before you get started and keep it on the bed near you. You will probably have to experiment with the amount needed. Get information on personal lubrication to make sure you purchase the right product for you.
Another way to create more moisture is to spend a lot of time on foreplay. Women need to get worked up to become naturally wet. Kissing, hugging, touching, and oral sex will help increase the moisture – and the pleasure. This also helps some people feel closer and more intimate during sex.
Pick the right sexual position to start.
Choosing the right position, at first, might make a difference in how much pain the woman feels during vaginal intercourse. When a woman is on top, she can control the level of penetration. This can cut down on the discomfort she is experiencing and has her controlling and managing her pleasure and pain. Breathing in and out can also help a woman who is experiencing pain, especially at the moment of initial penetration, to relax and feel better.
Be prepared for a mess.
If you tend to worry about keeping things neat and organized, you might want to put a towel underneath you. Some women bleed, from their hymen breaking, and things can get messy. In fact, you might bleed for a few days or even the second or third time you have sex. It’s perfectly normal. To keep yourself clean, you might want to wear a pad or panty liner until the bleeding stops.
Open the lines of communication.
Talk. Don’t be afraid to discuss your fears, wants, and needs with your husband or wife before you make love for the first time. Feeling comfortable with one another is vital to creating a good sexual rapport. You might find it useful to speak while you're having sex and afterward about the experience, what was good for you and what wasn't.
Practice, practice, practice.
Enjoy each other’s company and keep having sex even if it isn’t so great the first few times. If you care for one another and you’re both healthy, the sex will improve. But you have to have patience and learn about each other’s bodies and what pleasures both of you. If there are sexual issues that you cannot overcome together after a period of time, then have the courage to seek professional help from a sex therapist. It could be the difference between having a stellar sex life or none at all.