What Should I Do If My Spouse Is Spending Too Much Time with Friends?

Question: What Should I Do If My Spouse Is Spending Too Much Time with Friends?

My husband likes to hang out with his friends often. Sometimes, they play video games or watch sporting events in our house, which can be an imposition. But I prefer those nights to when they go out, and my husband comes in at three or four in the morning. I trust my husband, and he always tells me where he’s going. Now that we’re married, I think he should keep different hours, especially on weeknights, and that he should spend more time with me. What should I do?

Answer: A lot of men and women need to spend time away from their spouse with friends. When you successfully balance your time and participate in activities that are appropriate for married people.

The first step to resolving this problem is telling your spouse how you feel. Let him know that you’d like to spend more alone time with him. Explain that while you respect his need to spend time with his friends, you want your home with him to feel less like a dorm and more like a newlywed retreat or maybe even a love shack for the two of you.

Next, ask your spouse to share his reaction to your feelings and any ideas he has for resolving the problem. Then, you must negotiate and compromise until you come up with a schedule and ground rules about having friends over and appropriate activities that satisfy both of you.

Be open and sensitive to your spouse’s need for friends. Refrain from speaking badly of your husband’s friends and you should be able to figure out how to make both of you happy.