1. People & Relationships

How to Keep the Mystery Alive

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Many couples go into marriage thinking that now things can get ultra comfortable. And you'll soon know everything about each other if you don't already. But no marriage should fall into a rut, nor should you be so predictable. Letting go and giving up can be death for a marriage. While you should be comfortable with one another - even before you wed - you must also keep things exciting. That means you have to keep the mystery alive. Here's how:

Maintain some boundaries.

Some couples have no problem seeing each other on the toilet or relieving themselves of gas and the like. That's fine. But if you want to keep some mystery alive, then you should each go to the bathroom and perform bodily functions in privacy, free from the other's eyes (and other senses). For some, even something such as flossing or applying make-up, should be done in private. That's up to you. Granted, if you choose to have babies, the woman will lose lots of that mystery, but you can also make exceptions. Say, baby deliveries don't count. Or you can join each other in the bathroom any night, except when you're planning on having sex. You have to determine what works for you.

Dress up for each other.

Of course, you can sport your sweats on lazy Sundays and wear pajamas when you're feeling under the weather. This is, after all, your home and comfort zone. But every once in a while, you need to dress up just for your spouse. Put on a pretty dress or nice slacks and groom yourself and maybe put on something sexy underneath it all. You want to show your spouse that he or she is still worth the effort. It also makes you feel better about yourself, and that can improve things in the bedroom. If you feel like a stallion, you'll be a stallion.

Do something unexpected.

Surprises make the marriage exciting. Romantic gestures are always a good idea. But doing things that are out of character - organizing an impromptu vacation when you never take off a day of work or overcoming your fear of heights by taking a spin on the ferris wheel - are also unexpected and can remind your spouse just how interesting you are. Of course, doing negative things that are out of character are not good for your relationship. And I shouldn't have to say it, but surprising your spouse with your spunk and courage are always good for your marriage.

Save some secrets.

Husbands and wives should have no secrets when it comes to finances, health, and any other practical matters. But you could save a few secrets and sprinkle the revelations over a lifetime. For instance, you should tell your spouse as soon as possible that you want to have children, but you could wait to tell him or her about how you felt after you made love to each other for the first time. When those things come out, they will both surprise and delight your spouse.

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