1. People & Relationships

Readers Respond: Is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

Responses: 518


A blog and article about having sex for the first time on your wedding night generated hundreds of comments on the Newlyweds site. Sex is a big part of most marriages. It's a way to express your love, relieve stress, feel closer to one another, and make babies. First-time sex is an important milestone in a person's life, whether it happens on your prom night or your wedding night or somewhere in between. Clearly, first-time sex is a topic for which many of you have strong opinions. We want to read them all. Tell us - should people wait for marriage to have sex? Why or why not? Weigh In Now

unsure myself

I'm not religious at all. I'm 20 and I'm a virgin, I came here looking for answers and all I got is confused. But from reading if I lose my virginity before marriage I will go to hell, I thought God was forgiving? We are animals. We have intense feelings. Now if I have sex with 1,000 people and never get married, I might understand that concept. But there's no way if I fall in love - let's say I've known him for years before we start a relationship - and things get steamy and we do the sin, I will go to hell. I highly doubt that. Then again, I guess I'm already going for not being apart of a religion.
—Guest woman


There is no specific prohibition in the Bible against sex between an unmarried man and unmarried woman. However, "sexual immorality" is denounced in about 25 passages in the New Testament. The word translated as "sexual immorality" or "fornication" in English versions of the Bible is the Greek word porneia, which means "illicit sexual intercourse." Jesus said this: [Jesus] said, "It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." (NRSV, Mark 7:20-23) The apostle Paul wrote these verses: The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you
—Guest complicated


It's not always what you want that is the right thing. God knows better when He said you shouldn't do it. He knows what it will cost you. When you break God's rule, it breaks you. Remember whatever choices you make today, they have eternal consequences. It's not about the now. THINK TWICE. GOD CARES ABOUT YOU.
—Guest Beloved

It's awesome

Sex before marriage is like tasting a food before it gets ready. It's really cool.
—Guest shekinnah

anyone who hasn't lusted ....

Thought I would weigh in on the woman about to be stoned to death, seeing the Bible is being quoted.
—Guest grainy

I like Virgin Women

Non-virgin women are to be used for sex and nothing else. You don't marry or start a family with them. They have loose morals and will probably fail at being a wife and mother. I would only settle down with a virgin woman. It's like choosing between a new car and a used car. One is pure and the other is tarnished.
—Guest James

Pre-marital sex is very wrong

The Bible says in d book of 1cor 6:9 "do you know that unrighteousness will not inherit into the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived neither FORNICATORS, nor IDOLATERS, nor ADULTERERS, nor HOMOSEXUAL nor SODOMITE... And the Bible also states that when you commit sexual immorality, you are sinning against yourselves.
—Guest Deborah T

sex before marriage ?

Sex is the only the part of Paradise in world, so we should do it as Paradise owners rule.
—Guest Rasel BD

it's absuolutely wrong!!

The Bible says your body is the temple of God. Sex before marriage is wrong! You can't defile the temple of God. It's all about self decision and having a covenant with God. When you do that, you must maintain your self control. When you see the opposite sex, try to control your hormones. Present your body Holy as a living sacrifice!
—Guest guest prom

last time I checked it was 2013.

I wouldn't be here today, or exactly as I am, neither would my brother, had my parents waited until they were married to have sex. They have been together happily for 23 years, and married for 11. They will stay together until they die. I have a child on the way with a man I have been with for three years. We want to get married but the wedding we want will be very costly. We could just run to a registry office, just as my parents could have, but I think that devalues marriage far more than having sex outside of wedlock.
—Guest megan


I think it's very wrong to have sex before marriage. Apart from Biblical warnings, what are the psychological effects, especially if you don't end up staying together? It sometimes destroys marriages, especially when your partner starts comparing you to his or her ex.


You can't be sure of being married by that one person who takes your virginity. Your virginity is very precious to God and to your husband. You will enjoy long lasting respect from your husband if he marries you a virgin. Keep it!

Sex is wrong before marriage

In the Biblical perspective, sex is very wrong before marriage. But since it has not yet been found it should be a matter of choice which should encourage you to do it in such a way that it gives glory to God, either by sticking to one man or woman until marriage and even until death or abstaining from it until you get married.
—Guest Guest Oty Ibeh

pray about it

Pray for the right person. Pray for help with your hormones. Personally, I believe waiting at least until he shows you sex isn't all that matters.
—Guest rosa

Abstinence: best way!

Abstinence before marriage remains the best option. If one becomes sexually active at the age of 18 (before marriage), by the time the person is 25, he/she must've had sex with an uncountable number of persons depending on number of relationships kept.
—Guest Cherry

Weigh In Now

Is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

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