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Readers Respond: Is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

Responses: 386


A blog and article about having sex for the first time on your wedding night generated hundreds of comments on the Newlyweds site. Sex is a big part of most marriages. It's a way to express your love, relieve stress, feel closer to one another, and make babies. First-time sex is an important milestone in a person's life, whether it happens on your prom night or your wedding night or somewhere in between. Clearly, first-time sex is a topic for which many of you have strong opinions. We want to read them all. Tell us - should people wait for marriage to have sex? Why or why not?

I would wait

I believe that sex is something that God wanted us to do, but I believe that sex after marriage means something different than sex before marriage. I am just stating my opinion in this comment. I am 16 years old and I am not hating on people who had sex before marriage. It is really your choice in life. If you and your partner feel like the relationship is strong, I think you should talk about the topic and see how you both feel about it. But I am going to wait, and that is just my choice.
—Guest Naomi

What's the hurry?

Having sex before marriage or as a teen gives you a bad image and shows that you're growing up too fast. Focus on school or family. When you're married is a perfect time to have sex because that is when it will mean most to you. If you don't care for your body or don't want to be married, then go ahead. But I think it's a bad choice because if you do end up getting pregnant as a teen, it is honestly the worst thing to happen to you and your family. Wait for when it will mean most to you and make the first time special. Also, do NOT HAVE SEX if you are not comfortable. I mean it! You can't live with yourself knowing you had sex and didn't even want it. It's a risky chance to take, better safe than sorry so just wait for marriage.
—Guest Chrissy

Bring on the lustful sinful sex

I commented before, why does love have to be in the same equation as sex? Love is just chemistry, after all. Live a little.
—Guest Louise

Sex does not determine my worth

My value as a person is not determined by whether or not I am a virgin until marriage. I reject this concept wholeheartedly. Sexual "purity" does not a good person make. I aspire to be an open minded, accepting and non-judgmental person, and that means I could honestly care less if someone is sexually 'pure' or not. If you want to wait until marriage, good for you, that's your choice. If you don't, good for you, that's your choice. I made my choice, and I don't regret it at all. Yes, I was a little older than many - 18 - and no I wasn't in a relationship, but it wasn't a shameful, regretful incident. If someone were to think less of me because of this, then he or she is not someone I want in my life to begin with. For many people, myself included, marriage is not the end game, and an entire life of celibacy is simply not realistic nor in any way desirable. Also, everyone knows condoms and other methods, such as the Pill, exist because I'm seeing a lot of ignorance in these responses.
—Guest Louise


No because it's a great and amazing feeling. It's also relaxing.
—Guest Lillian

yes it is wrong

I read the comment. Don't you think that it's the best thing to do? I mean God said so in many religions. I am a Muslim and God clearly says that sex before marriage is wrong and that is also in Christianity, too. So, why risk what is obviously wrong just to have sex a few years before marriage? It just sounds stupid to me.
—Guest muslim

no problem at all !!!

It's your wish after all, your body. There's nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. To hell with God! There is NO god.
—Guest nmm


All you guys are stupid. Just have sex. It is great, and I don't think it matters. God should love you anyway. We are his children. Don't you think God whats more people on earth so He can be loved. People should listen to me. You aren't going to go to hell if you ask for forgiveness because God gives second chances. Not everyone is bad for having sex, unless you are a prostitute and have sex with many people.
—Guest brittany


This is still a debate because of "God." One person has an imaginary friend and he or she is crazy; thousands of people have the same imaginary friend and it's religion. Any one of the "theories" about what is right and what is wrong is just a matter of perception. It is what you make of it. There is no higher order telling us how to live and if you think about it, why does it even matter before or after marriage. It's still sex and all the "bad" things that can happen with sex can happen even if you're married.
—Guest guest realist and married woman

If God says it is wrong, it's wrong

It's quite clear, sex before marriage is a sin. God loves us and knows what's best for us, even though we might not understand it at times.
—Guest A

Wrong alright!

Is the devil tempting you? Why would you walk away from God? His laws are holy and we should respect them.His arms are open to us and why should we walk away from him? We can wait until marriage, people. We are just saving ourselves if we just wait until marriage. I want to have sex also for pleasure. Pleasure or not, we should wait. When we get married, we can have all the sex we want. Do not be tempted by Satan. Just follow God, he will lead the way, and trust him and we can all have a happy, and safe life on earth, and when we get into heaven. And that is why should wait.
—Guest Unknown

What if you stay together?

If you stay together then eventually get married, is it still wrong?
—Guest Dave

It's your body.

I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage. If you're happy with yourself, and the person you're doing it with, then that's all that matters. Marriage may be a very sacred thing, but it makes zero sense to marry someone when you don't know if you're compatible on a physical level. And if God has plans for everyone, then having sex before marriage must be in there somewhere.
—Guest Lindsey

Sex is WRONG before marriage

Hebrews 13:4 from the KJV says, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
—Guest lifetime9rfan

Stupid conversation

What's the hurry in having sex before marriage? You people can't be quiet before marriage? Stupid.
—Guest jo
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