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Readers Respond: Is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

Responses: 384


A blog and article about having sex for the first time on your wedding night generated hundreds of comments on the Newlyweds site. Sex is a big part of most marriages. It's a way to express your love, relieve stress, feel closer to one another, and make babies. First-time sex is an important milestone in a person's life, whether it happens on your prom night or your wedding night or somewhere in between. Clearly, first-time sex is a topic for which many of you have strong opinions. We want to read them all. Tell us - should people wait for marriage to have sex? Why or why not? Weigh In Now

Bring on the lustful sinful sex

I commented before, why does love have to be in the same equation as sex? Love is just chemistry, after all. Live a little.
—Guest Louise

Sex does not determine my worth

My value as a person is not determined by whether or not I am a virgin until marriage. I reject this concept wholeheartedly. Sexual "purity" does not a good person make. I aspire to be an open minded, accepting and non-judgmental person, and that means I could honestly care less if someone is sexually 'pure' or not. If you want to wait until marriage, good for you, that's your choice. If you don't, good for you, that's your choice. I made my choice, and I don't regret it at all. Yes, I was a little older than many - 18 - and no I wasn't in a relationship, but it wasn't a shameful, regretful incident. If someone were to think less of me because of this, then he or she is not someone I want in my life to begin with. For many people, myself included, marriage is not the end game, and an entire life of celibacy is simply not realistic nor in any way desirable. Also, everyone knows condoms and other methods, such as the Pill, exist because I'm seeing a lot of ignorance in these responses.
—Guest Louise


No because it's a great and amazing feeling. It's also relaxing.
—Guest Lillian

yes it is wrong

I read the comment. Don't you think that it's the best thing to do? I mean God said so in many religions. I am a Muslim and God clearly says that sex before marriage is wrong and that is also in Christianity, too. So, why risk what is obviously wrong just to have sex a few years before marriage? It just sounds stupid to me.
—Guest muslim

no problem at all !!!

It's your wish after all, your body. There's nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. To hell with God! There is NO god.
—Guest nmm


All you guys are stupid. Just have sex. It is great, and I don't think it matters. God should love you anyway. We are his children. Don't you think God whats more people on earth so He can be loved. People should listen to me. You aren't going to go to hell if you ask for forgiveness because God gives second chances. Not everyone is bad for having sex, unless you are a prostitute and have sex with many people.
—Guest brittany


This is still a debate because of "God." One person has an imaginary friend and he or she is crazy; thousands of people have the same imaginary friend and it's religion. Any one of the "theories" about what is right and what is wrong is just a matter of perception. It is what you make of it. There is no higher order telling us how to live and if you think about it, why does it even matter before or after marriage. It's still sex and all the "bad" things that can happen with sex can happen even if you're married.
—Guest guest realist and married woman

If God says it is wrong, it's wrong

It's quite clear, sex before marriage is a sin. God loves us and knows what's best for us, even though we might not understand it at times.
—Guest A

Wrong alright!

Is the devil tempting you? Why would you walk away from God? His laws are holy and we should respect them.His arms are open to us and why should we walk away from him? We can wait until marriage, people. We are just saving ourselves if we just wait until marriage. I want to have sex also for pleasure. Pleasure or not, we should wait. When we get married, we can have all the sex we want. Do not be tempted by Satan. Just follow God, he will lead the way, and trust him and we can all have a happy, and safe life on earth, and when we get into heaven. And that is why should wait.
—Guest Unknown

What if you stay together?

If you stay together then eventually get married, is it still wrong?
—Guest Dave

It's your body.

I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage. If you're happy with yourself, and the person you're doing it with, then that's all that matters. Marriage may be a very sacred thing, but it makes zero sense to marry someone when you don't know if you're compatible on a physical level. And if God has plans for everyone, then having sex before marriage must be in there somewhere.
—Guest Lindsey

Sex is WRONG before marriage

Hebrews 13:4 from the KJV says, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
—Guest lifetime9rfan

Stupid conversation

What's the hurry in having sex before marriage? You people can't be quiet before marriage? Stupid.
—Guest jo


I am getting married in 52 days and I am a virgin. We have been together for almost 7 years. I am so excited. I never had to worry about pregnancy, infections or anything else that came with premarital sex. It wasn't always easy to wait but thanks for good Christian friends and family. As a Christian know that God's ways are perfect. So in waiting you avoid hurt, worry, and depression.
—Guest sashawn

Defenitly Wrong!!

Yes sex before marriage is wrong! Because you should wait until you're married. I'm 16 and I know that. I mean what's the big hurry? Why get yourself emotionally involved and end up hurt at the end? When you can just wait and give yourself up to your husband or wife. It's better to wait and be happy later, then to be happy for a little while and hurt at the end. Just saying!
—Guest Peach

Weigh In Now

Is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

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