1. Dating & Relationships

Your suggestion is on its way!

An email with a link to:


was emailed to:

Thanks for sharing About.com with others!

Most Emailed Articles

How to Kiss Like in

Readers Respond: Should Your Spouse Come before Your Kids?

Responses: 7


Married people have to prioritize their relationships. Before you have children, your spouse obviously is number one. But once children enter the picture, parents often put their kids ahead of their spouses on the priority list. What do you think is the right thing to do? Should your spouse come before your kids? Or should it be the other way around?


Children are very important and should be loved, but your spouse is always supposed to be loved a tiny bit more. Marriage is no joke. That is the person you are supposed to love for the rest of your life. In God's eyes, you are one. You create the structure in the family. When you bring a child into the world it is your job is to raise him or her to be a strong person in the world. You love them, of course, and their needs are to be met. Yet, in about two decades, they will be off in the world building their life, getting married, and having children of their own. When they're gone your husband is always there, telling you you're beautiful and holding you up as you wobble off into old age.
—Guest Jasmine

Um...?? Equal

I don't understand this...when you say your spouse comes first. Does that mean if someone asked you, "who dies first, your "love" or your child..." Would you say your child? I would say it would be equal and that you shouldn't put either first. Kids and spouses have different needs. But saying your spouse comes before your children? Wow. You love them in different ways I guess. Keep this in mind, your child is your "blood". When you held your child for the first time...there was a bond there. I guess what I'm saying is...both should come first.
—Guest A teenager

spouse always

If you remember it took you and your spouse to have that baby! You and your spouse should always come first, so that you are able to take care of the child as a loving family unit!
—Guest mark

spouse totally

Your spouse is someone you choose to spend your life with. Your kids happen to you as a couple. You love them as a couple and don't let them tear you apart. You must love your spouse as you want to be loved. One day the kids will be gone and you want that person by your side because they have been with you all along. Marriage is the backbone of the family. Kids make a family.
—Guest ashleigh

I disagree

I feel the spouse should come first because the Bible says your spouse should come before everyone. This doesn't mean that you won't love your children but think about it; when you're married, you and your partner must work together. If you tend to put your children first, their opinions will over-ride your spouse's and that just shouldn't be.
—Guest Newmommy21

Readers Respond

I prefer the children must have the first preference,do you agree with me and why?
—Guest kisor ray

Your spouse comes before

I think your spouse should come before because your spouse is the reason to have kids. Also, when your kids get older, they leave you and have their own life. Then, you will feel alone if you put your kids on the priority. So, i guess your spouse deserves to come before because at the end you will find only your partner who have ability to continue the rest life with you.
—Guest Sahm

©2015 About.com. All rights reserved.