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How To Discuss Money with Your Spouse

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Money is among the top reasons couples argue. Different salaries, spending habits, and attitudes about money make it a controversial topic. Newlyweds know too well, however, that people need money to survive, especially if you are paying off wedding debt and college loans, purchasing new furniture, and starting a family. Money, in fact, is an unavoidable topic for newlyweds. But it does not have to be the krypton to your super marriage. As long as you and your spouse broach the subject honestly and calmly, you can discuss your finances without arguing. Here are some tips on how to discuss money with your spouse:

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

Share Your Spending Habits

Do you only buy from the sales bin? Is your closet full of designer labels? Do you spend a lot of money on one thing (say food) but little on something else (say clothes)? It may seem obvious to you, but your spouse might not know exactly how you like to spend your money – or how much of it you spend on a daily or weekly basis. Talk to each other about how each of you spends money.
Express Your Attitudes about Money

You must try to understand each other’s attitudes about money. Maybe your spouse sees money simply as something you need to afford necessities in the present, and you see it as a means of security for the future. These differences may seem like no big deal, but they influence the decisions you make with your money and having opposing attitudes might create arguments down the road. If you know from the start that your spouse feels a certain way about money, it won’t be a shock later. And you can find compromises that satisfy both your needs.
Provide Full Disclosure

Honesty is the key to building trust in a marriage. Spouses should disclose their annual income, debt, property, investments, and bank statements to one another. This way, couples know where they stand. They should be able to use this information as a starting point for determining how to move forward with their finances. For instance, if they have high debt, they should make paying it off a priority. Before you can make any plans for your money, you have to know how much you have and how much you owe.
Set Financial Goals

Tell each other what you hope to achieve financially in the next five years. Are you hoping career advances will create an increase in salary? Are there big purchases you’d like to make such as a car or house? Will you need to save more money for a growing family? Once you know your goals, brainstorm plans for achieving them.
Equality Counts

Make sure you’re equally responsible for meeting financial goals. Do not put all the financial burden on one spouse. He or she will resent you, and tensions will flare. Even if you make less money than your spouse, find ways to pitch in. Both of you should be aware of the cost of bills and taxes. Both of you should share responsibility for actually doing the paper work and balancing the checkbook. Be sensitive of each other’s feelings and consider yourselves a financial team.
Check in with One Another

One money talk is not enough. Every so often, you should check in with each other to see how things are going with your finances. Is the other person pleased with your amount of spending versus saving? Is there a money issue that is keeping one of you up at night? If so, how can you resolve the issue together? The important point is to avoid bankrupting your relationship in the name of money.