When Work Gets in the Way of the Relationship

Supporting your spouse’s career is usually sound advice. But sometimes people are in the wrong job, and their spouse can help them realize that and do something about it. If any of the situations below apply to your spouse, you should discuss the problem thoroughly with your spouse, find out what would make the situation better for him and her, and consider career counseling. You know you should put your foot down about your spouse’s work…

…if your spouse is using work as an excuse to avoid working on your relationship or spending time with you.

…if your spouse lies about working late when he or she is actually doing something else.

…if the stress or grueling work schedule is taking a toll on his or her health and therefore your relationship.

…if your spouse is miserable or continues to be unsuccessful because he or she has not found the right job yet.

…if the work is illegal or goes against your values and those you believe your spouse holds.

…if the work environment is toxic, which means either the environment is dangerous because the building is old, there’s lead in the water, etc. or the people are evil backstabbers who live to torture others.

…if the demands and expectations of the job always make it impossible to be together.

…if the work makes your spouse so grouchy and cranky that he or she becomes impossible to live with.

…if the job is killing your spouse’s hopes and dreams.

…if the culture at the workplace is not the right fit for your spouse (for instance, his or her colleagues are all formal and logical and your spouse is more business casual and creative).