How to Support Your Spouse's Career

Marriage – and certainly parenthood – can kill a career. You’ve probably heard stories about those bosses who resent married folk who try to leave work on time and cause friction among married and single employees. If you’re a woman, you likely put off telling your boss you were getting married for fear he or she would hear it as a resignation. With those kinds of attitudes and that kind of pressure, you need the support of your spouse to succeed in your career. Here’s what you can do to support each other’s career – and therefore create a bright, financially secure future for your new family:

1. Believe in your spouse.

This is harder than it sounds. As you got to know your spouse, you began to see something inside him or her that set him apart from all others. It’s one of the reasons you fell in love and decided to get married. That special something – that spark and charm – should be enough reasons to believe that your spouse can fulfill career goals just as he or she has accomplished personal goals (like marrying you). Tell your spouse you believe in him or her but also prove it. Keep track of his or her career and applaud at the appropriate moments. When things are not going so well, you can provide encouragement for your spouse by offering a pep talk – “You are great at what you do and things will get better because you’re great at what you do and I love you no matter what happens.” You can also help your spouse get his or her mind off work on days off by doing something fun together. Now is a great time to head to a theme park, take in a movie, or go dancing.

2. Be there for your spouse when it counts.

When your spouse asks you to attend work functions (parties, award ceremonies, speeches, or retreats), you must go. Not only must you attend, but you also must be dressed appropriately, wear a smile no matter how boring the event, and make polite small talk with your spouse’s colleagues. Your job is to make a good impression because you are, after all, a reflection of your spouse.

3. Lend a helping hand.

Refrain from criticizing your spouse’s work or meddling in projects or problems with co-workers. But you can feel free to step up to the plate once your spouse has asked you for help or advice. Then, you can offer constructive criticism and suggestions in a gentle way. For example, you might say, “Honey, your idea about creating a slide show for the presentation is great, but you might consider taking that a step further by making a video with images and audio, too. With your creativity, you could really wow them!” By starting the explanation with praise and showing enthusiasm for the initial idea, you will surely win over your spouse – and help him or her do an even better job.

4. Make sacrifices.

Most Americans today are expected to be on call 24-seven for their jobs. There is a lot of pressure to arrive at work before the boss and leave after him. If your spouse has to work late or take meetings during breakfast or dinner, or travel a lot, you have to tolerate it. That said, you do not have to let anyone walk all over you, and your spouse does have to respect your feelings. He or she must also find time for you and your relationship. Still, especially if the crazy hours or traveling is a temporary stepping stone to bigger and better positions, you should do your best to accept the situation. Sacrifice time with your spouse now for a better future later. If that’s your situation, then you should do everything you can to make the time you are together count. Keep in mind that people who are satisfied with their careers and feel accomplished are generally happier – and therefore make for better companions.