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How to Get Help for Internet Porn Addiction

Don't let cyber sex get in the way of your real marriage

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Internet porn addictions are a real problem in marriages today, and young couples are particularly vulnerable. A new generation of husbands has grown up with easy access to pornography and cyber sex, thanks to their computers and cell phones with Web browsers. When they decide to get married, they are unsure of what to do about their porn viewing habits. “They feel scared to be limited to one woman and they become desensitized to what they’re seeing,” says Kimberly Young, the director for the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery.

If your husband has an Internet porn addiction, you’re not alone and you can get help. Although experts who study Internet addictions agree that problems with pornography are underreported, in part because of the shame associated with such an addiction and in part because the problem is relatively new to society, Nielson Online recently reported that in one month 30 million American men visited erotic Web sites, driving what is estimated to be a $2.8 billion industry, according to the February 2009 issue of Glamour.

Even celebrities are not immune to Internet porn addiction. Model Christie Brinkley’s ex-husband Peter Cook, for instance, reportedly spent about $3,000 per month on Internet pornography. The stories don’t end there. If you sign onto community forums dealing with relationships, you’re likely to find messages from real people struggling with cyber sex cheating and Internet porn addiction. “He is perfect in almost every single way. The only flaw he has is his addiction to porn…I can’t help but feel hurt, unattractive, even a bit jealous. Then, I start to think negative things I would never imagine myself thinking of him. I must not satisfy him. If his desire to look at porn is so bad, what is stopping him from going further? Phone sex lines or even cheating on me to get what he needs,” writes a member of the Dr. Phil Forums.

Indeed, women are suffering, often in silence because of the shame. Many of them feel inadequate or unappealing. They wonder what they’re doing wrong. “Here I was a live woman that loved him dearly and he wouldn’t look at or touch me but could look at those other women on the TV and computer,” writes another married member of the Dr. Phil Forums. The bottom line, says Young, is that wives often feel betrayed because their husbands seem to need sexual stimulation from other women and many times they are lying about their Internet porn use.

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