You and your spouse will lose sleep for least another 18 years, have more pressure and responsibility than ever before, lose every ounce of privacy you have, and experience a whole new kind of love that will enrich your lives in ways you never thought possible. Here’s how having a baby will affect your marriage:
You’ll snap at each other more than usual.
Babies cry during the night and parents – often mothers – have to get up to feed and soothe them. In the really early stages, you actually have to wake up the baby for feedings. Your sleeping patterns will be completely thrown off. Some babies grow out of this stage quickly, and others never do. You have no idea what you’re going to get, so it’s best to be prepared for either scenario.
For a while at least, you’ll be living on less sleep, which will likely make you cranky and irritable. That’s why you’ll snap at each other more often. It’s nothing personal. It’s just what happens when you get little or no rest.
You and your spouse will have to work on your team skills.
At some point, probably in the early days of your baby’s life, he or she will be fussy and you’ll be at a loss for what to do. The two of you might have the urge to cry and scream along with the baby. But sooner or later, you’ll have to pull together to come up with a solution – something such as singing a song that does the trick, calling grandma or the doctor for advice or letting baby cry himself sleep.
Newlywed parents might have other more serious problems that bring them together. Some women experience post-partum depression, which requires professional help from the medical community and support from your spouse. (Get more information on post-partum depression here: TK). Other medical problems of the mother or baby might also require extra care and attention. Sticking together will make things easier on both of you – and your baby.
You and your spouse will stretch dollars like never before.
The thought of paying for formula, food, diapers, class trips, clothes, and college will keep you up at night when the baby doesn’t. Staying in more and clipping coupons will become second nature. You’ll likely have the urge to start a savings account for the little one. Go with that!
You’ll fall in love with your spouse again.
Maybe the baby will have your husband’s nose or your wife’s eyes. Or the baby will be pensive like dad or happy like mom. The way the baby melds the best of both of you will help you remember what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. You’ll be even more smitten the first time you catch your spouse bonding with baby – baby clutching dad’s finger in his sleep or giggling at mom. And your shared love for the little one will make you closer and give you more motivation than ever to make your relationship work well for years to come.