Stay calm.
Sitting in silence, pacing the floor, or just plain freaking out is not going to help your wife relax. It will just add to her own stress and tension. Even if you're worried, you must find a way to put on a brave face and be strong in front of your wife. Sometimes, just having a dependable partner who appears to believe everything will turn out well is enough to get you through labor and delivery with positive results.
Be a cheerleader.
Encouraging your partner during labor and delivery - so long as you're not annoying or fake about it - will go a long way to helping her. There will come a time in labor and delivery where your wife will feel as though she cannot go on. It's your job to convince her that she can do it. Saying, "I'm so proud of you," and "You're doing great," and "I love you," might be all the motivation she needs. On the other hand, if she is annoyed by everything you say and do - this happens for some women, especially if they are having particularly difficult labor and delivery or have a low tolerance for pain - then follow her lead and speak up only if she gives clues that she'd like you to talk. Part of your job as support person is to read her signals and make adjustments to your behavior based on your wife's needs during labor and delivery.
Ignore any unkind words.
Some women scream, yell, or even curse during labor and delivery. The fear, pain, and exhaustion get the best of them as you might imagine. In those moments of intensity, your wife might say unkind things to you. Don't take it personally. Don't defend yourself or get into an argument. Simply let the comment go and forget it ever happened. She doesn't really mean it. She just needs to vent and get out her frustration. As the father of her child and presumably the love of her life, she finds it more natural to unleash on you as opposed to the nurse checking the fetal monitor.
Accept the decisions made.
Sure, you and your wife may have written an explicit birth plan with instructions on skipping an epidural or avoiding supplemental formula in favor of breastfeeding. But once labor and delivery begin, your baby and the health of your baby or spouse may mean nixing the birth plan. While it's important to discuss preferences before baby arrives, you cannot be wedded to a particular plan. During labor and delivery, be supportive and not at all judgmental should your spouse change her mind and, say, get an epidural. Be aware that you might have to make some decisions for your wife during labor and delivery if she's not mentally or physically able. Discuss this possibility sometime before labor and delivery, too. Consider the advice of the medical professionals, midwife, or doula assisting you and listen to your own gut, too.
Inform the world.
As the support person, you must inform family and friends of the baby's arrival. Nowadays, you can do this through phone calls, text messages, or a Facebook shout out. Make a list of contacts ahead of time and take care of this without bothering your wife with any of the details. All she should have to do - sometime before labor and delivery - is approve and add to the list of people who need to know when baby arrives.
Savor the moment.
Having a child with someone - and being present for the labor and delivery - is a momentous event in one's life. Each birth is a special gift that bonds a family for life. Don't miss out on any of it. Avoid taking it for granted. Much like you might have been advised for your wedding, you should try to slow down and savor the moment, grasp your feelings, and take mental pictures - not to mention real ones - of what you're experiencing.
