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Great Marriage Advice from Married People


Caucasian couple relaxing together on sofa
Blend Images - Jose Luis Pelaez Inc/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
As newlyweds, we can learn from those who have been married longer than us. We can observe what they are doing what right and wrong to help us improve our own relationship. We can look to them for answers about how to build an enduring marriage. That’s why the advice of married people is invaluable. Here, you’ll find advice from lots of married folk – and you can share your own tips:

“Keep expenses down and don't fall for the new trend to have expensive weddings. I just read that the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is $26,000. This is lunacy and usually has little bearing on the experience that newlyweds, guests and families have. These days this could be a down payment on a home in some parts of the country or a very nice condominium. I think the expensive wedding is a measure of something other than love and marriage.” –Tom, married 22 years

“Let your husband think HE is in control. My husband and myself are Italians, and we all know the woman runs the show, but I just secretly let him think he does! It really works well. Be gentle to each other and always resolve an issue between each other as it happens, never let an argument carry on too long. Eat together at the table and talk. Always remain attractive and appealing to your husband or wife, and try to do what you two love as a couple often. Don't let the relationship become stagnant. Always keep the waters flowing fast and fresh. “—Maggie, married 5 years

“You need to be a good friend to your spouse. By understanding your own struggles in life, you can help him or her. You need to be forgiving and helping to him or her. If you put God first in your life, then you can put your spouse first, because you can be the best friend that your spouse needs. You can be completely empathetic with your spouse, because you understand how your own struggles are and you can then help your spouse with his or her struggles. You need to grow in love emotionally, spiritually, and physically…Remember that you are the other half of your spouse. The two have become one.”—Lori, married 22 years

“When a divorced woman is left alone for many years, she asks herself, “Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Why did I act that way? For me, it was not giving my husband enough praise, making him feel pride in all he did. Why make it a challenge? Why did I always have to be right? Even though I was – LOL! Why can’t one person give more than the other? Someone has to give more, 50-50 is not possible, at least I don’t think so. It’s easy to look back and say what I should have done. But, like I heard someone say the other day, ‘We can’t prevent what we can’t predict’. And I never thought in a million years my husband would walk out on our marriage. Live and learn.”—Cookie, married nearly 14 years before divorcing

“Marriage is a constant work in progress. One that needs constant tending, like an all-season garden. You can't let it go for a minute. You can't become complacent. You can't accept routine, nor should you accept anything but the best from yourself and from your spouse. It's a forever-unfinished painting – always going back to add details, or completely removing pieces that don't work and re-doing it. It's a team effort and if one isn't on board, it will slowly fall apart. Not talking about your deepest worries, problems, successes and hopes will chip away at the strength of the marriage that you built together.”—Jody, married four years

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