Home is where the heart is because home is where your family is. Newlyweds are starting a family - even if they never want children - when they take their vows. And one of the first ways to get your new family started on the right foot is to create a family home, a cozy place for you and your new spouse (and anyone else who might be living with you). Recently, Shannon Honeybloom, author of Making a Family Home (Steinerbooks, 2010), offered tips on how to make your newlywed home fit for your new family. Here is her best advice for making a family home -
Discuss the meaning of home.
Like everything else in marriage, creating a family home requires good communication. You and your spouse must first talk about what home means to each of you. What’s important to you? Do you want a bathroom that feels like a spa, while your husband yearns for an attractive yet functional kitchen? Are you for or against a TV in the bedroom? Discuss your priorities and list them.
Consider the past.
“Bring something from the past and then move it into the future,” says Honeybloom. For example, you might drape a quilt from grandma on your living room couch, but then find something, such as a shell, from your honeymoon and frame it for the wall. Conjuring up good memories and making new ones together to bring into your home are a lovely way to start your family.
Be flexible.
Consider the making of your family home your first lesson in compromise. You have to carefully consider each other’s feelings and practice give and take. It’s hard to meld two styles together, and you can’t have everything your way. There are two of you in this home, and you should both be satisfied even if one room features the wallpaper you like and the chair your husband prefers.
Make the spouse who is moving in feel welcome.
Often, one spouse is moving into the other’s apartment or house. If that’s the case, then you should move all the furniture into the middle of the room, do a real house cleaning, and then rearrange everything you’ve decided to keep in a way that suits the two of you. The original owner of the space must let go of his or her control and show his or her happiness about the other one’s entrance.
Paint your home happy.
Paint color is a way to make a dramatic difference in any living space without spending a lot of money. To choose colors, start with your favorites. If you like blue, consider the effect it has on you. For instance, if light blue calms you put it on your bedroom walls, where you’ll be relaxing and sleeping. If yellow motivates you, then put it on the walls of your home office. The best part of painting a room is if the two of you don’t agree on certain colors, you can live with it for a while, see if it grows on you, and change it if it doesn’t.
Take things slowly.
“If this is going to be your home for the rest of your life, there’s no rush,” says Honeybloom. You don’t have to buy everything at once. Take your time to pick things that you really like – and at the price that fits your budget.
Bring the outside inside.
Nature offers great gifts, which you can bring into your home’s décor. A bouquet of wildflowers your husband picked for you from the public garden down the street will make you smile. The smooth river stones that you carried home from a hike you took together will be perfect for your coffee table.
Embrace constant change.
“Your home is always changing,” says Honeybloom. “You’re bringing in a pretty lamp that you found or rearranging books. That’s the way it should be.” Allow your home to evolve naturally. Make little changes like the placement of a frame or new linens to freshen up your home every so often.
Live in your home.
A true family home is never a showpiece. It is lovely and pretty or even modern and chic, but it’s always functional and lived in. Honeybloom suggests making pancake breakfasts on Sunday and drawing a nice bath for yourself on Wednesday. Use the home in fulfilling ways but also maintain it. “Caring for the house is a way to care for the person or people you love,” says Honeybloom.
Imagine your future.
“Your loving home is a wonderful gift you can give to the future version of your family,” says Honeybloom. It’s okay if you imagine your office one day turning into a baby’s room. Or you think about your basement becoming a movie theater. Fantasies about your home can help you see its greatest potential. And be sure to fill the home with your greatest gift. Says Honeybloom, “Love is the foundation of the family home.”
