Actor Mario Lopez allegedly cheated on his fiancée, former Miss Teen USA Ali Landry, at his bachelor party in Acalpulco in 2004, according to the Bachelor Party Confidential Web site. Two weeks after the wedding, Landry had the marriage annulled. Paris Hilton, according to the same Web site, dumped her fiancé Paris Lastis in 2005 because he allegedly cheated on her at his bachelor party.
A bachelor or bachelorette party is not an excuse to run amok or behave badly. It’s also not one’s “last night of freedom.” A bachelor or bachelorette party should be a celebration of your decision to get married – and it should be fun without being offensive or degrading to your soon-to-be spouse. Indeed, with a little communication, you and your future husband or wife can have bachelor and/or bachelorette parties that do not destroy your marriage before it starts. Here’s how:
Talk to Each Other
Sit down and have a serious conversation about what you think is appropriate and what would make you uncomfortable. Both of you should get a chance to speak and to listen. You should get specific. For example, she might say, “I’m fine with you having a stripper, but I don’t think she should touch you or give you a lap dance.” Or he might say, “I would consider it cheating if you flirt with other men at a bar.” This discussion is an important one to have, even if you are not having a bachelor or bachelorette party because it sets some ground rules for the entire marriage. It’s a way to make sure you’re both on the same page, and no one unintentionally hurts anyone else’s feelings.
Weigh Your Options
Nowadays, some couples are opting to have bachelor and bachelorette parties together. They get a group of friends, and they go to Las Vegas or just hit the local bars in a pack of guys and girls. The soon-to-be newlyweds can keep an eye on one another, so everyone feels comfortable. Even if you decide to have separate parties, to put both of you at ease, you can decide what kind of parties you’d like to have together. Maybe, the girls would like to spend a day at the spa, and the guys would rather go to Atlantic City for some gambling and the buffet.
Be Considerate
Now you know what you and your soon-to-be spouse find appropriate and the kind of party you’re going to have. Do the right thing, and stick to the guidelines to which you both agreed. Don’t let your friends peer pressure you into having a stripper if you have already told your wife you would not. A lie is no way to start your marriage. There’s a good chance your new husband or wife will eventually find out and it will be disappointing, hurtful, and could cause major problems. If something comes up that you did not discuss, seriously think about what your husband or wife would think and act accordingly. Your friend’s approval is far less important than that of your spouse. If your friends don’t understand that, then they aren’t very good friends.
Remain Honest
After the bachelor or bachelorette party, even if you discussed all of this beforehand, your soon-to-be husband or wife might have questions. Answer them honestly and thoughtfully. You don’t have to reveal everything. For instance, if you thought the hunky guy your friends hired to dance for you had better abs than your new husband, you don’t have to mention it. But if you shared a kiss, you should tell. Your husband could find out from someone else or he may already suspect, and he has a right to know. As journalists have said for ages, “If you don’t want it revealed, don’t let it happen.” Honestly, among married people, what happens in Vegas, doesn’t usually stay in Vegas. It usually comes home to haunt you. Fess up from the start and help your marriage.
