Some people are more timid than others. This can play out in the marital bedroom as well. You or your spouse - or both of you - might be uncomfortable with sex
or insecure about your body or unable to share your needs and desires
. As a result, you may have lots of sexual inhibitions. That's all right if you and your spouse are satisfied with your sex life. But if you and/or your spouse want to improve your sex life, you might want to break down the walls that prevent you from trying new things in the bedroom. Here is some help if you'd like to rid of your sexual inhibitions:
Reflect on yourself.
Many people find it difficult to reflect inward. But before you can overcome sexual inhibitions, you must understand what is driving them. Are you uncomfortable with sex or your sexuality because of your upbringing or religious beliefs? Did you have a bad sexual experience in the past? Are you just embarrassed to tell your spouse what you want in bed
because you're shy by nature? Are issues you have with your body making you feel insecure? Only you know what's behind your inhibitions. Be honest with yourself and figure out what it is that's bothering you.
Make a plan.Once you know the motivation for your inhibitions, you can make a plan for overcoming them. For instance, someone who has had bad or even violent sexual experiences in the past might need to see a therapist. If you're not pleased with your appearance, you might want to build self-confidence by living a healthier lifestyle or following a sensible fitness routine. Remember whatever plan you implement will take time and effort. Changes won't happen overnight, so both you and your spouse must remain patient.
Communicate with your spouse.
This particular step might sound like a broken record to you. People are always advising couples to communicate. There's a reason for this. Communication
is the only way to clue each other into what's going on both in your heart and head. When it comes to sex, communication can help you better understand each other, which can put you more in tune with the other's body. Therefore, you'll be better able to please one another. You'll also increase intimacy and feel more comfortable, which will help you overcome inhibitions. So, talk, talk, talk, and talk some more.
Know your limits.Certain inhibitions are good. They protect you and your body by keeping you from doing something that could harm you either emotionally or physically. These inhibitions are unique to the individual. Maybe there are a couple of sexual positions that turn you off or some things you never want to talk about with your spouse. That's all right. You must learn your limits and explain them to your spouse. He or she should respect your wishes and never pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. If these limits are a problem for your other half, you could go to counseling to work out your differences.
Make your move.
After you are feeling more comfortable or confident, you will start to think about when to try something new or let down your guard during sex
. There should be no rush and you will know if and when you are ready. Depending on what it is, you should either formally discuss it with your spouse beforehand or offer some sort of physical signal, such as a deep kiss, to indicate that you're ready. Again, your spouse should in no way be pressuring you and you have the right to change your mind. If you are ready and willing, let nature take its course and the rest will fall into place.