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Francesca  Di Meglio

Infidelity, Infidelity, Infidelity

By November 19, 2012

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All anyone on the news is talking about is infidelity, thanks to the revelation about Gen. David Petraeus' resignation as head of the CIA on account of the extramarital affair he had with a woman who is married herself. While the world is contemplating the consequences of this indiscretion on the war on Afghanistan and national security, I'm thinking about the two suffering families. Both Petraeus and his mistress have spouses and families that have to contend with the horrible news of infidelity. This is difficult in the best of circumstances, but it has to be that much harder when you're in the public spotlight. Frankly, I'll be surprised if either of the marriages can weather this storm, even though there are some spouses who can offer second chances when they've been cheated on.

Since news broke on this story, I've seen some disturbing coverage. One clip I saw of Katie had creator of AshleyMadison.com, the site where spouses go to find people to cheat with, defended his business as a "marriage preserver." Thank you, Dr. Phil, for setting him straight. Dr. Phil reminded him that just because people want a service doesn't mean you should be helping to feed their bad habit. I realize marriages can survive infidelity, but I don't believe that any of them thrive because one of the spouses is cheating. Call me crazy. Call me old-fashioned. But I believe that cheating hurts a marriage. Period.

Another video clip I viewed online in the wake of the scandal was one of a mistress sharing her side of the story. While curiosity will get the best of you and you'll want to hear what is behind such a betrayal, you have to wonder why anyone is giving voice to people who cheat. I realize the other woman (or man) can provide insight into why this happens and what you can do about it, I kind of hate the idea of giving the cheater any kind of spotlight or attention. On the other hand, this mistress did describe the guilt she felt when she actually saw the home of her lover and his family.

I hope all of you are taking in the coverage of infidelity and relating it to your own marriage. Use these stories and information as a way to take inventory on your own relationship and to do whatever you need to do to protect your relationship. Take a stand and be faithful. Learn from the mistakes of these cheaters.

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