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Francesca  Di Meglio

Jealous Mother-in-Laws

By September 7, 2012

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Lots of mother-in-laws have probably thought to themselves that they were jealous of all the time their daughters-in-law spend with their sons. But few, if any, have ever admitted it out loud - until now. Recently, on the reality show "Married to Jonas," Kevin Jonas' mom admits that she is jealous of his wife for all the time he spends with her. I was struck by her honesty. But I have to admit that this kind of jealousy is something that moms have to keep in check. She went onto say she was good at raising little boys but not men. The reason for that is little boys need raising and men don't. Men, especially, married men have to cut the apron strings and create families of their own. And moms have to be strong enough to let them do that. I know it must be hard. Now that I have a baby son myself, I can understand her desire to be with her son. I can even understand her jealousy. But as a daughter-in-law, I also realize that for the sake of my family, I'm going to have to back off and let my son fly on his own when he gets married. After all, I don't want my future daughter-in-law to hate me. What do you think about jealousy of mother-in-laws?

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Comments
September 9, 2012 at 9:43 am
(1) Regina says:

It is also the son’s responsibility to gently tell his mother she has to back off. That she did do a good job to raise a man and that he won’t abandon her but she has to let them have their own life

December 26, 2012 at 8:48 am
(2) itsonlylife says:

Sometimes, dysfanctional behavior is ingrained so deeply by his mother, the son has not concept of what “normal” is. Take for example, my Ex: His mother would call our house at 8am to wake him up, meet him for lunch ( every day) and call again 2 times when he got home from work and before we went to bed. She was angry when we went on our honeymoon and lamblasted him when we came home “for not calling or thinking about her all week”. He was ordered to her home immediately, without me, to explain himself. He went. Everytime we went on vacation, the same thing happened. She even called our hotel in Spain to be sure to give him his orders – what she expected him to see or do- for the day.
He was told to keep his money from me because I “just married him for his money”. So saying, he opened an account with her. My child and I only saw a portion of his paycheck. ( I worked full-time)
The real stomach turner was when she called at 10pm telling him that she needed him there right away because she wanted to take a bath and she was out of bubblebath. My Ex jumped out of our bed, ran to the store, drove 30 miles, ran her bath and stayed in the bathroom with her while she bathed, with lit candles no less! He actually told me this as if it was no big deal! It was normal. BTW, my husbands father was alive, well, and at home.
My entire “marriage” to man made me feel, 24/7, like I was the mistress to a married man. He was 30 when I married him. That’s 30 years, each and every day she had to mold him into a surrogate husband for herself.
He kept her out of the picture during our dating. Now I know it was for a reason. He knew. Hurting his wife and child, and tearing apart our home, was a better option than standing up to mom.

May 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm
(3) Sita Kamath says:

My inlaws are completely crazy. My dad in law is a psychiatrist and he is the one who needs treatment – he is abusive, angry and rigid. My mom in law is depressed and cynical. I think as you said, they hate the fact their son is moving away from them. This person from outside is taking over his life. They are so consumed by jealousy and insecurity that they lose sense to not let their e,motions slip away.

In the beginning my husband wasn’t able to stand up to his parents, so the abuse went on silently. Once I put my foot down, they acted like immature people and blamed me for everything (like always!).

We cut our bonds from them. After 5 years when I tried to bring him closer to his parents, they again blamed me for everything. Now my husband put his foot down.

I am so glad we never went back. This is a case of destructive relationship. They will rot in Hell. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 29, 2013 at 12:00 am
(4) Kristina007 says:

I think it is rediculas for mothers to be jealous. I do not understand it at all even though I am reading why. I have a really bad problem with my MIL. I wish she liked me, she commits on how she thanks god that the kids look like my husband instead of me, pops off, argues, very hard headed, strong personality. Did not attend the wedding to do shopping with his grandma, calls me names, snubs me out, makes fun, etc. I see it as a gain in a daughter and three kids. My husband does nothing about it because he hates conflict and does not stick up for me and takes her side at times. I now wish I never got involved, it is a terriable thing to go threw and I feel like am now trapped with no way out. Just make sure if you are wanting to get married one of the many things to look for is to make sure you do not get a hold of a family that rejects you and has the same values as you do. Hugs and kisses, and hats off for the women out their in the same fix as me.

July 29, 2013 at 1:25 am
(5) Kristina007 says:

Jealous mothers need to realize that they can not keep their kids forever and they do grow up and part of growing up is leaving the nest and getting married. They would be hurting their son if they were interfere with their son’s happiness. It is selfish of the mother to want to keep him. It is a part of life that people need to accept. Mothers need to realize that they are gaining more by a daughter and some kids. If jealous mothers start showing unacceptable behavior, then they would hurting themselves in the long run by possibly not being able to see their grand kids, losing their son, causing a divorce as a result later on her grand kids blaming her and hating her for it. Jealous mothers can cause a great deal of damage to themselves and cause damage to others around them because of selfishness. Happiness is the persons responsibility not the son’s or anyone else’s. Jealousy is immature and I do recommend some christian intervention on ways to handle it. How would the jealous mother feel if their mother in law dished out the same problems??? ehh?

February 24, 2014 at 5:31 am
(6) Autumn says:

IM dealing with this issue myself. SMH…..

March 3, 2014 at 3:09 pm
(7) Wendy says:

My mother in law is jealous. In our case, I can understand why, but not accept it either. My husband was married to a neighbor’s daughter (friends with mother and father in law) She cheated on my husband while they were still married and got pregnant by another man (married man) My husband divorced her. We met five years later and got married. I was excited to meet my mother in law because I had already met my Father in law and he was very sweet. her first reaction was not good. She was so jealous, my husband could not put his arm around me because she reacted so badly. I have limited conversations with her and do not visit her. She lives far away, and I encourage my husband to visit, but I stay home. I feel like I am constantly being judged and criticized by her and her daughter, and now even my father in law has been rude as well. I am now pregnant, and I don’t see myself taking my kids to see them, as they show a preference for my step daughter ( the buy her whatever she wants, she is spoiled rotten) I can imagine how my SD will react when she finds out I will be having a baby.

May 1, 2014 at 2:11 pm
(8) Feed up daughter in law says:

My jealous Mother in law lives with us. She don’t want me to change anything in the house. She wants to know what we do she always goes in our room rambling thru out things. She was living with my husband before we got married. She thought I was not going to change anything. She would walk around in the house with a short top on and a pair of panties on she not a small lady. My husband yell to tell her to put some clothes on. She is buying the same brand of panties I wear even the same colors. She would leave some small panties inn his laundry so I could get upset with him but instead I threw the in the trash. She act like a drunk!!!! She cannot run her household with my father in law but here trying to run my household.i have a mother in law from HELL!!! SHE is very selfish not wanting her son to be happy!!!!

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