Wordless Wednesday - Making Compromises
Antonio Gerenini and his wife Francesca Di Meglio pose on their motor scooter while in Italy. © Photo courtesy of the Gerenini family
Sometimes you have to do things you don't particularly like or want to do to please your spouse. I, for instance, was always dead set against riding on a motor scooter or motorcycle. I find them to be terribly dangerous, and I don't like the feel of it. That vibration and the wind in my hair is terrifying to me. But my husband's main means of transportation when in his native Italy is a motor scooter. For years, I put off getting on the scooter with him. When in Italy, we live on a small island that you can easily travel by foot or bus. Since it is also the home of my ancestors, including my father, I've been traveling to the island since I was 2. I know my way around, and I have relatives who often pick me up. Why get on the scooter?
Finally, however, my husband wanted to take me to the beach - just the two of us. The only way we could get there was on the motor scooter. The buses were filled with tourists, and we'd have to wait hours. The beach we wanted to go to was on the other side of the island. He had already bought me a helmet, so I had no way of getting out of it this time. My mother-in-law even chimed in to say he was a safe driver, and I should go.
Leaving the house, I was a nervous wreck. Then, I got onto the scooter, and my heart fell to my stomach, which fell to my knees. Nearly killing us, I gripped my husband's stomach and wrinkled his T-shirt. In the first five minutes on the scooter, I pulled him as we turned the corner. Quickly, he pulled over and gave me a lecture about how I have to let him be the driver or we were going to have an accident. Fearful, I listened and refrained from pulling him, especially when he turned. But his shirt got even more wrinkled. I'm still terrified whenever I get on the scooter. I try to trust my husband. And I remember that this is a compromise I made for him, and so we could have some alone time for once. (We both come from big Italian families and that means being with lots of people lots of the time.) Still, it's a tough one for me. What things have you done for your spouse that you normally would not?
Your story reminds me of the primary reason we didn’t rent a motor scooter for our destination wedding in Bermuda: we couldn’t decide who would drive it while the other one sat on the back. Yes, we should’ve just gotten our own scooters but we rode the bus the whole time instead!
After more than 15 years of marriage, I can’t begin to name all of the things I have done for my spouse that I “normally” wouldn’t do. Though I think getting out of our comfort zones is one of the greatest blessings of marriage. I know my husband has done the same for me. So glad you took that scooter ride – and were willing to adapt to please your husband. It’s one of the secrets to a long, successful life together!
Haven’t actually experienced a motor scooter, but I far prefer motorcycles to cars. Scarier, yes, but no carsickness and I love the wind in my hair. SO much faster than my normal (pedestrian) mode of transportation.
I have to Agree with Tonya success in marriage is giving way sometimes to the greater good.
Compromise is part of the deal. People who won’t try something for their spouse and refuse to bend are called divorced.
For me, I have tried Chinese food for my spouse. I have found I will tolerate some of it.
For her, she’s had to attend every car show that comes within a 200 mile radius!
My husband and I were both older when we married. Being “set in our ways” meant that compromise was difficult. We are both strong-willed too. BUT, we have learned to bend without breaking. Compromise is very important for a relationship. So, I go to shops I could care less about with him. He let me take over an ENTIRE room of the house for my crafting supplies. We do still insist on keeping our CD collections separate, but that may change as we grow old together
At the beginning of our marriage, I felt like I was doing all the giving (or giving up – home, career, friends, etc. – we moved overseas to a small duty station in Italy). I even had to learn to cook! It was hard. But I discovered that I gained a great deal from military life, too – lifetime friends (some of whom I just saw today for the first time in over two years!), travel experiences I never dreamed of having, and the opportunity to build a marriage relationship and traditions far away from criticizing relatives. I also learned to be more outgoing by going to military social events, and that has been a huge blessing! My husband, in turn, has learned to plan (he loves spontaneity) and to deal with my extended family…and to help with housework, particularly when we are having company.
We went on scooters on a trip to Door County, Wisconsin. It wasn’t a honeymoon, but a fun trip! The speed was controlled with the left hand. I remember running into a cloud of these huge mosquitoes that had awful long legs hanging down and veering around, trying to get away from them! Luckily, nothing happened. But it was fun!