Today, word spread that Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are separating after 25 years of marriage. The couple, who has four children together, seemed happy and in love. But friends told the Los Angeles Times that this break up was a long time coming. Shriver has been miserable in their marriage, according to the article, for some time. Yet, the couple's statement today indicated that they were separating "while they work on their relationship." In fact, they've been spotted together around town over the last few weeks, according to various media reports. Some even say that Shwarzenegger is motivated to woo Shriver and win her back.
Who knows? What happens between a husband and wife, especially over the course of 25 years, is between a husband and wife. We'll never really know what happened between them. The unraveling of their love story besides being sad (how can you not feel sympathy for a couple breaking up after 25 years?) got me wondering if separation really has to mean divorce. I mean all the couples I know who have begun as separated have ended up divorced. I've always seen separation as the first step in divorce. Some people can skip that step. But lots of people don't really want to face the reality of the demise of their marriage. They might be hanging onto a fairy tale notion of their marriage or fearful of giving up the identity they've created as being part of this couple or they're trying to ease their children and themselves into divorce. Then again, maybe a separation could help people clear their heads and realize what they have in their spouse. What do you think?
My husband and I separated for three months, and then got back together. We’re still together two years later, and I feel really strong and confident in our marriage. Separation allowed us to work on our relationship in couples therapy without living together. It was good for us. I hope Maria and Arnold are able to figure things out, and be happy.
Nina, thanks for sharing your story and inspiring hope in others who might be facing separation, too. I am happy to hear that you and your spouse worked things out. With the latest news on Arnold and Maria, I’m not sure they’ll have the same positive outcome. But I always hope for love and happiness to win out in the end, and I wish that for everyone just as you did above. Thanks again!