Yesterday AOL posted a story about the undivorce. This is a new idea in which couples who no longer want to be married stay together in the legal sense only, usually for practical reasons. Some of them can't afford a divorce or won't be able to get an inheritance if they don't stay married. Others do it for the kids. Whatever their reasons, these couples remain somewhat friendly, come up with some sort of agreement on their own, and never actually get divorced. Still, most of them live separately and have other relationships.
I'm usually a practical person, but the undivorce does not seem right to me. Marriage is a major commitment, in which you promise to support one another through good and bad times forever. If you are no longer committed in your heart, then you should no longer be committed on paper or through property and finances.
Love or falling out of love is impractical. Your divorce should be, too. It doesn't have to be insanity, but it shouldn't be as clinical as filing taxes either. Marriage gone wrong is messy and complicated and that's all right. In fact, it's normal. And divorcing spouses should embrace the tragedy, throw themselves a pity party, own their divorce, and then move on. A divorce gives them freedom from a marriage that wasn't working.
Our desire to uncomplicate everything, including our relationships, is impossible. I guess I just feel that the undivorce could be unhealthy. A little complication can do you good. You once loved this person enough to promise to spend the rest of your life with him or her. An undivorce belittles those feelings you once had because it has you committed in name only. A complete and real divorce gives the people involved a clean slate, which amounts to a chance to move on from a big, important relationship that was broken. The undivorce is undone. You're leaving your life unfinished with an undivorce. What do you think?