Wordless Wednesday Holiday Deployment
Army 1st Heavy Brigade Combat Team Captain Bob Kolb and his wife of seven months, Lisa, fill out commitment cards as part of a vow renewal ceremony on Dec. 12, 2009, ahead of Kolb's deployment to Iraq. © Photo by Stephen Morton/Getty Images
My husband left for Italy yesterday, so he could spend the holidays with his mother and sisters. I'm pretty sad, but then I think of the many military families who will be separated by oceans and war over the holiday season. And my situation isn't all that bad. A case of the sniffles and some bad fruit cake is about the worst my husband will have to confront while he's gone. I can't imagine living with the worry of having a loved one in combat in Iraq or Afghanistan or some other war torn part of the world. The holidays must be particularly hard because during this time of year, you have a need to be close to your spouse and all the people with whom you feel close.
Those who are deployed are often gone for one year or more. Being apart for so long can be tough on a marriage. There are temptations, and it's difficult to keep to your commitments. Recognizing this, the Army had soldiers and their spouses recently take part in a vow renewal ceremony. It had them promising once again to commit to one another. It's a way to continue to build trust. Maybe having their vows fresh in their minds will help couples fight temptation and stay true to one another. What do you think?
This sounds like a great idea. That first commitment *should* be remembered and renewed, I think, even if the couple is *not* facing such a stressful and long separation.
I think it’s great. I’ve been through a Christmas deployment (with no email!) and it is not fun, even if you have the chance to be with your family. I would have taken great comfort in a vow renewal ceremony like the one you describe here.
If you or your readers know of someone who is married to a deployed servicemember (in the Navy we call them “deployed spouses”), please reach out to them all through the deployment. Offer useful help – babysitting, minor car and home repairs, and a shoulder to cry on. I used to get tired of people asking me where my husband was (like I knew) and wasn’t I worried (of course I was, plus I had to calm the fears of everyone in my own extended family – more stress!). The friends who unclogged my sink and helped me drop my car off at the repair shop were just wonderful, and I try to pay all those favors forward whenever I get the chance.
It’s great that they offer that. I can understand why this would ba perfect time for a vow renewal.
Francesca, That’s a great image.
That’s really great that they were able to renew their vows!
What a great idea, except that war is involved. I hope everything turns out well for that couple.
I think the renewal of vows is a wonderful idea. Besides just recommitting to one another, it also provides an opportunity for couples to honestly discuss the marital challenges they will face and perhaps to have a plan for handling them. Infidelity is certainly an issue when a serviceperson is deployed, but there are also lots of other issues that can be destructive to marriages. Anticipating them and taking action to prevent them has to be helpful.
It’s hard when you have to be apart from you partner, especially during the holidays and even more so when you can’t communicate on a regular basis. I think the vow renewal ceremony is an excellent way to help strengthen those ties when you have to be apart.
Like Stan said except that they are separated by war, the vow renewal is an excellent idea. War tears families apart in so many ways. A strong commitment is needed in every marriage.
I’m sorry you don’t get to spend the holidays with your husband, but you’re right, having him in the comfort of his own family in Italy is so much better than what these couples face.
That’s too bad that your husband is spending the holidays in Italy but you’re not. I guess you will both be with your families, which is a very important Italian tradition. We’re spending the holidays in Italy for the first time where we’ll be enjoying Christmas dinner at our neighbor’s house eating the white turkey he raised.
You should’ve gone too. A trip to Italy! Hope he comes back soon. Happy holidays!
Even if our spouse is always there for us, marriage is not always easy. So I think being reminded about our commitment is always a good idea.
Happy holidays!
It’s hard to be separated at the holidays. And I really like the idea of renewing vows before deployment. Although I wish there didn’t have to be deployments.
I hope your husband is having a lovely time with his family.
My heart goes out to any family that is separated at any time, but especially to our brave military families. It must be really difficult for them.