Having Sex for the First Time on Your Wedding Night

My husband and I certainly did not wait until we were married to start having sex.

There’s nothing wrong with choosing to make love before marriage. It’s a personal choice. Each couple has to make the decision that is best for them.

I’m waiting to have sex for the first time when I get married…in 197 days. I’m a little worried and I’m trying to find out more information with out finding porn on the internet. Its a bit frustrating but I know eventually everything will be okay. I’m definatly not expecting fireworks the first night.

My husband and I waited for our wedding night to make love for the first time, and we were glad we did. Naturally we were tempted many times during our courtship years but we felt it was worth the wait as it made it more the sweeter.

There is something quite courageous about waiting to make love in this day and age. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with choosing to have sex before marriage, I do think that waiting makes it even more special. As long as you love each other and you are patient with each other, there is nothing to fear about having sex for the first time.

for us in our country is obligator to wait for the wedding night but usually it puts the couple under a lot of pressure especially the bride as she thinks of the pain,i have so many questions about the best way to avoid pain and to enjoy the first night together, if anyone was facing the same issue and maybe has advice or even somewhere on the web that can guide i would appreciate having your comments.

May I ask what country you’re from, newly wedded? I am going to try and get information posted on the site soon for people who are waiting until the wedding night for sex. I think it’s an important subject and one for which there is little information in this day and age. I hope to help soon. Thanks for your comments and honesty.

My husband and I waited, and while I was fairly nervous the months preceding the wedding night, it was 10000% worth it to wait. The temptation was hard to bare at times, we made the decision very early on to wait. We dated for four years before we were married. Several months prior to our wedding we had the talk; about expectations, being nervous, pain, etc. And honestly after we talked about it I felt so much better. I think the key is to go slow and gentle, it was sun a special moment that the pain was almost the last thing on my mind. Your first time doesn’t need to be adventurous and perfect, you have the rest of your life for that- just make it special. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more: lovemybeau921@aol.com

i m waiting for my wedding nite to have sex. I m (a male) from india n i m having arranged mairage. I m worried about the matter that whether my wife( whom i seen only twice till 28-10-2008) will have same feeling me on that nite or not. Moreover i m really not ready or i feel guilty to talk about this to my wife. Pls help

For those of you in this position, I do not judge anyone, but as they say hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I had waited. There were many reasons I did not. The thing is once your virginity is gone, it’s gone forever, you can never get it back. Only one person can be that first one for you. I am now 50 years old, and I have been married twice. I did not wait for either of my marriages and I wish I had. Just now at 50, I think I know myself better than I ever have, and I think I finally have some perspective. At 18 I certainly did not, but I thought I did. I have alot of regrets. The thing I want everyone to understand is that if no one tells you how special you are and how you should save yourself for that one special person of a lifetime, you don’t automatically know this. You seek the love that you don’t have for yourself and did not get from your parents from others. You give yourself freely thinking this will be the love I am looking for, but it’s not, it’s empty. Parents, please remember to tell your children how loved they are and how special they are so they will not seek love and acceptance from outside sources in the form of sex before marriage. I am not a born again christian or anything like that. I just would like for others to refrain from making the same mistakes I made. I have now met someone with whom I would like to share my virgin body with, but it’s too late. I cannot give him that special gift and I cannot give myself that special gift because it was already given in trying to find the love and acceptance I so desperatly needed.

For those of you out there afraid to talk to your husband or wife to be, don’t be afraid. Communication is the key, and you will both feel better after you talk. It’s nothing to be embarrased or ashamed to talk about. Marriage needs communication at it’s core to thrive and you owe to yourselves and to each other to communicate. Just talk in a loving manner and everything will be OK.

Great comments, IwishIhad. Thank you for your honesty. I think some young people don’t realize how precious a gift sex is and how it should really be reserved for someone truly special. It’s hard to know when is the right time. Sex continues to be special long after the first time. I personally hope we also continue to get better at it and enjoy it more. Regardless, it is up to us to give sex the importance it deserves.

Hi,

I’m getting married in 6 weeks, and when we make love on our honeymoon, it will be the first time either of us has ever had sex. I’m going through a lot of emotions right now – I’m so excited that we’ll finally be able to unite together in that way. He’s always been so tender with me, and I know that won’t change once we marry. But at the same time, I’m a little nervous about the pain that might ensue. I’ve been warned that sex might not be “good” for the first month…but then again, neither of us have done this before, so I think it makes sense that there will be a “learning curve” of sorts.

I’m so happy that I’ve waited. We love each other so much, and I’m really glad that I’ll never have to worry about STDs or that previous partners might be in his head when we do make love. It’s literally going to be our own brand new “space” together as husband and wife.

I just really wish that more people respected individuals who want to save their virginity for marriage. Too often, people just assume that anyone with this persuasion is a “Christian fundamentalist,” and often don’t consider this as an option on it’s own merits. I’ve never had to worry about unplanned pregnancies or ST D’s or consider having an abortion (which, even for those who believe it’s a fetus, can still be traumatic at times)…the simplicity this decision to be abstinent has brought to my life is truly wonderful!

But I’ll be glad when we’re finally married lol; I’m more than happy to start this part of my life.

I had waited for my wedding night to have sex for the first time, but my husband had had sex before. Therefore he was experienced, making it “not so awkward” he would make sure to check if im ok or if it hurt and what i liked. Im glad I waited, and as much as i wish he would have too, i think overall it was amazing!

Thanks for sharing your story, Dana. I think you have validated the choice of many people and helped those are still waiting for the wedding night. It’s further proof that if you love each other, it will work out.

Sex before marriage is wrong, wrong, wrong. It clearly says in the Bible that sex before marriage is a sin. Wise up!

My husband and I waited and it was a wonderful experience. When we started dating I told him that I wanted to wait even though I had been sexually active in my past. At first I think he was hesitant but quickly came around to the idea. We waited for several reasons, and there were many benefits:
1. We believe that is it what God intended
2. Sex fades eventually, when we are 80, we don’t have to worry if we are going to get along without sex
3. I never had to wonder if he was with me because the sex was good
4. when we had a disagreement we actually had to work it out instead of having makeup sex.
5. Our wedding night was amazing. I have never had sex so good. I am even more amazed that it keeps getting better.
6. If you can’t control yourself before you are married, what keeps you from indulging in sexual temptations outside of your marriage?
7. Great fun getting to know each other intimately.
We have only been married for 4 months, but so far everything is wonderful, I pray that it will always be.
I know that each couple makes their own decision, and they should be able to do so without judgment. As for me though it was a wonderful blessing to wait, and i highly recommend it to any couple who haven’t made up their mind on the issue.

This has been so helpful reading this. My boyfriend and I (of almost 2 years) have yet to have sex. Both of us are in our thirties and have had sex in the past in previous relationships. I admit I have a hard time with abstaining because we really do love each other and I am so attracted to him, but he feels such a strong conviction about us waiting until we are married to make it everything it should be helps me see the bigger picture.

The problem I find is with my friends who question his sexuality (are you sure he isn’t gay?) or interest in me and have said that I should leave, that it isn’t normal. I didn’t think I would encounter so much peer pressure after I became an adult. The judgement is pretty fierce.

we waited until our wedding to have sex..that’s our culture

I’ve had sex thousands of times, but always with the same woman, and always inside of my marriage to her, my wife of 26 years.

I’m NOT going to judge you if you think “premarital sex is OK”, but I do urge you to be consistent with your own belief system. IF you are an atheist, who thinks God doesn’t exist and the Bible is rubbish, then go ahead, fool around all you want. But IF you believe the Bible is true and is the Word of God, then I’m sorry — premarital sex is always wrong for you. Always. It’s that simple.

I am getting married in two days, we haven’t had sex and have been together for about two years, I can tell you I cannot wait! I think it will be an amazing experience even if the sex isn’t exactly “pro” yet….

look sex is something really appealling but not for those who do it outside the pattern and parameter the Allah has allowed.
When two are not married they allways count the secs to have sex with one another and that’s what the satan besset but remember after the operation esp an unsuccessfull sexual relation how do you feel,don’t you hate yourself don’t you hate your partner.but imagine to be married the abomination alters into a more emotional relation.Never sin.Sis is something wrong.God didn’t say do not sin because you disblief my principles but he says I tell you the sins for your own sake not to ruin life with bad experiences and bad moments.God loves us that’s why he says don’t do this and don’t do that.just like a father to his son.we all think that we are the mind-masters but infact we are all the son and the God is the Father showing us the way not to be hurt.
Another point: Sex will get ordinary one day so always choose your partner for his or her dignity,ethics,beliefs and things like that.
And for the final words I wanna say something about the religion.Look sisters and brothers,As I said God has put many likitations but they vary from one religion to another but remember the religion which has the most complicated rules is the best one because if you know all the rules then you would have the greates life both here or the other world.GOD Loves us.SEX is very good but not for all.I have too many things to say,if somebody needs my words I would be glad to help yopu at all stages of your life.
You can email me for assistance to mfpredominant@yahoo.com

Congrats Keith! I hope your wedding was beautiful.

I just want to thank everyone for their comments. And I’d also like to remind everyone that this is a welcoming community for newlyweds and people of all faiths and beliefs. We respect people’s differences and discuss everything openly, honestly, and in an intelligent manner. Please refrain from criticizing each other’s lifestyles. Respect everyone’s right to wait to have sex or not wait. Thanks again! I look forward to further discussion of this topic and others.

according to the bible sexual act is a means of entering a covenant with another person bcos your body fluid are mixed during the act.it means for as many people as you have sex with you are tied to them spiritually , a part of you has gone with them and you have their own part too with you.the bible says the marriage bed should not be defiled by premarital sex. but if you have had sex before, coming to Christ offers you a new life as you become a virgin of Christ like i am now. His blood cleases you frol all sin and you becomes a new creature 2Corinthian 5:17

I mean the blood of Jesus cleanses you from all sins and you lose that guilt feeling and are set free both in your mind and spirit. God forgives you. you can email me on favouredsophie@yahoo.com for futher clarification

I am currently married to the love of my life. We have been married now for almost 10 months. I waited ’til marriage before engaging in a sexual relationship. There were a few times in highschool where I came close, but always stopped myself in hopes to share that special moment with my wife and wife alone. However, things worked against me and my wife did not wait ’til marriage before engaging in a sexual relationship. I really have a hard time dealing with that and don’t really know where to go for advice. I’ve talked to my wife about it every now and again, but it makes her feel like a horrible person…. and she always tells me that she doesn’t regret any of it. (Which makes me feel worse). Regardless, how do I deal with not being my wife’s first sexual partner? I lost my virginity to her. Any advice would be nice… I feel sometimes alone in this situation. Let me just make one last comment, regardless of how I feel about this particular aspect of my marriage, we do have an outstanding marriage

I started dating a guy about four months ago. We’ve known each other for YEARS! But he called to hangout. After hanging out one evening and fooling around, I just knew I had to sleep with this guy. It was weird, but I knew it had to happen. But I was a virgin and I had to tell him. I told him, he stayed, we continued to fool around. He was patient and made it special. Soooo, I’m no longer a virgin. We had a huge argument a few days later about something stupid and I felt guilty of having slept with him. But he apologize profusely, we worked it out. And we really like each other and like hanging out with each other. We have a good relationship and enjoy sharing ourselves with each other. I never thought I would be with someone like this – it’s special. And I’m happy. That’s what matters!

NeedAdvice, thanks for sharing your story with us. If I were you I would consider getting professional help either with a sex therapist or marriage counselor. Both you and your spouse should be able to work out these issues with the help of someone trained to deal with these kinds of issues. Good luck!

WasAVirgin – thanks for sharing your story with us. Now that you are sexually active, you should be sure to use protection to protect yourself from diseases and unwanted pregnancies. If you need help dealing with the emotional changes you’re experiencing, you should talk to someone you trust such as a parent or guardian or a counselor. Good luck!

PREMARITAL SEX IS HEAVILY CONDEMED IN THE SCRITURE BY GOD.IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO WAITING PATIENCELY FOR THAT NIGHT.I WAS TOLD IT IS FULL OF EXCITMENT AND COS OF THIS, I ‘M PATIENTLY WAITING FOR IT.WE ARE IN THE WORLD ANYTING GOES AND PEOPLE DO NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG DOING IT BUT MOST TIME YOUR CONSCIENCE ALWAYS JUDGE US WRONG.MOST PEOPLE START HAVING THE PROBLEM THEY ARE GOING THROUGH NOW THROUGH SEX WITH VAROIUS PERSONS.MY ADVICE IS TO WAITING FOR IT,COS IT IS WORTH WAITING FOR .

i am a christian and i do believe that you should wait until marriage but it doesnt stop me from wanting it really badly. i am always horny. i dont know what to do….i am worried the urge will become too much and i will ‘just do it’

need advice now, you should try to speak with someone in the clergy or a religious role model about controlling your urges for the sake of your belief. You could also try seeing a therapist. Keep us posted. Thanks for your honesty! Good luck!

My husband and I waited until after we were married. It was totally worth the wait. I think its like when you have a craving for something and you put it off and put it off then you get to indulge. Its that much better than when you give in right away. Anticipation only heightend the arousal. It was awkard but my husband and I can laugh and reflect on that and have a sweet intimate memory.

im born-again and believe it is worth waiting for that night. it is the best gift we are keeping for one another.i want Jesus to be there to applaud us as we worship him with our first sexual encounter in life. my gal and i cant imagine how mysterious its going to be. but thats the way God has made it to be

I do agree with Need Advice. I am a christian too. I try to wait till marriage but it’s so hard!!!!!!!!!!I feel horny very often and think about often too. I know it’s abnormal but i can do nothing about it.

Im 22 years old and I made a promise to myself that ill gie my virginity to my husband. In the recent years it has been REALLY hard and i’d just like to thank all of you coz uv shown me that it’s possible.
Keep your fingers crossed for me… and pray if you can. I really wanna do this, more for me than for whoever that lucky guy would be. Again, Thank you. (Especially IwishIHad)

My husband and I have been married for two years and we waited until our wedding night to have sex. The night was amazing! So here’s the nitty gritty truth about waiting for “the night.” Yes, there is some pain, but it’s not excruciating. It’s more of a soreness and all loving husband stop when it begins to hurt. They don’t want it to hurt you! But soon the pain pushes through to pleasure, and the oneness that you feel is amazing and even better because you waited to share this special moment. The actual lovemaking itself will most definately, most likely be very short—matter of minutes…they just can’t help it the first time. As the honeymoon progresses you continue to learn, and the best part is it gets better each time. But the first time is always so precious and special!

Growing up, I always wanted to wait to have sex until I got married. While I was not raised with this idea (my parents were more open and wanted us to ask for help/advice when needed), it was something I strongly wanted. I grew up and moved away and had many many many temptations.

When I got to my mid-20’s, I was beginning to think that marriage was not in my cards, so I entertained the thought of pre-marital sex. I was 26 years old when I lost my virginity and have and some partners since and I do not regret any of it. As a matter of fact, the first guy i slept with, was a one time thing. Am I proud of it? No, but rather than regret…I live and learn.

I waited until I was ready, and that is all that matters. I was/am older and more responsible. If I were to get pregnant, I now have a stable career and life where I am able to accept responsibility that comes with sex. It is a personal choice and my desires changed over time, with life experience just as our thoughts and beliefs should.

Im 21 and still have not had sex. To be honest, it’s one of the most difficult things in the world. It’s hard because my body wants it but I know in my heart it’s wrong and I should wait. Many of these comments are very encouraging. It’s good to know there are actually people out there who wait. As a college student it’s a rare occasion to find someone who’s still a virgin.

Don’t worry RaChel, I am 26 and I have never had sex too. I would advise to not pay attention to others. That’s what I do.

I completely disagree with you. Having sex before marriage is important. Being a very sexual woman myself I would never risk choosing a partner for life without knowing if we are sexually compatible.I am almost 30 and only now I realize what my sexual preferences are. If I waited I would have missed out on amazing experiences.

I am a male at the age of 21, and I am dating my first love, we have been dating for 2 an a half years. We are talking about marriage in 2-4 years. We are both virgins, but I feel great urges for sex, especially when we kiss/makeout. I obviously know these thoughts are kinda normal, but im afraid that these thoughts could hurt are realationship. Its like, I want to have sex, but on the other hand I dont want to screw are relationship up. Ilove her with all my heart, but it takes a toll on my emotions after awhile, and I start getting impatient and grumpy so to speak. We live in two different states and when I see her for christmass, summer, thanksgiving and several other times, my passion for her skyrockets and I guess you could say I disregard my need to remain a virgin. Ive known many people who were not able to stay in a long distance relationship for even a couple months, but we have been in it for 2 years. So there is a lot of love, trust, and communication, that we have, and those are some things that bind and keep a relationship strong and working. I know im babbling here, but im using this site as a journal you could say, I just wanted to get my thoughts out in the open and maybe someone will have some comments or even need some advice. Thank you for listening! and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE, GOD BLESS.

Talking about sex here is the same as having a stick with two ends. Sharing ideas it’s very good, it brings some relief and I do value all shares here. We will always have pros and cons about the sexual intercourse whether it has to be before or after the marriage. I suppose everything depends on person’s life ideology. Someone wants to have a good experience whereas others cannot do it because of Christian morale. I still remember the words from Bible: “If you need it you will get it. Pray for your eternal life. Jesus knows what you need”.
Be sure about your life principles and it will help you tackle the sex problems. To be strong enough and oppose the seduction is not an easy thing but possible. Be strong, respect yourself and your life ideology!

hello, it is so great to beable to have these comments to read! i am a late teen and had been sexually active since a few years ago, i partied and when i lost my virginity it didnt phase me, i barely remember it because i was blacked out from alcohol! i accepted jesus as my lord and savior feb 17 of last year and i have been sober since feb 4th! this month is a big month for me! I met a guy last year that i just married on New Year’s Day!He is from a previous marriage and a daughter who is 3! We have been guided in our own lives and together by god, we love the lord! We waited to get married before having sex because that is not what our love and relationship is based on and committed to! In our past we disobeyed what god was trying to do in our lives and didnt listen, because we wanted instant, now, gratification! Alot of young adults our age in this generation tend to be this way and even adults, it is so sad to see! We have to suffer the consequences from our pasts and just know we are now creating our new pasts today and cant live tomorrow! We are choosing God’s will for our lives instead of our own! i want to thank everyone for the support and opinions on this page! and i want to add one thing that any young person looking at this right now, we all have made mistakes, temptations are everywhere but what your heart desires and what is right you can have! Don’t give up on your dreams! have a blessed day!

i thought i was gonna stay a virgin until marriege. i even had a promise ring. i’m 17 and i just lost it 3 days ago with a guy i’ve been liking for 2 years now.

not sure if i’ll do it again, but i did break my hymen

Mellisa, look forward but not backward. If you regret about it, try to not make the same mistake for the second time.May God help you!

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years, and we are saving sex for marriage. However, when I say that, I mean that we are literally saving intercourse for marriage.. we do everything else on occasion. At first we were going to save everything, but it just didn’t work out that way. We have just decided that this is what we think is okay (even though I’ll admit, I’ve felt guilty and decided we should stop in the past, but we always fall back into it).

We both are pretty strong Christians, and I know that we should be saving everything for marriage, but it’s just so frustrating that we have to wait so long for marriage. We met each other at a young age, so if we were are going to wait until we graduate (both going to graduate schools) then it just doesn’t seem fair. And we know we will get married, so we just feel that it’s okay. I was just curious if anyone else did this same thing? I always hear about people waiting for sex, but I always wonder if they mean they waited for everything.

I also feel like our first time won’t be awkward since we are already pretty in tune with each others’ bodies. It’ll be just one more step, and I think minus the pain for me it won’t be weird. I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this?

Asslam O Alekum, I am a single and i gust to know how anybody feeling at his wedding night about sex…

well i`m still a virgin but my soon to be husband is not. we both said were gonna wait until our wedding night to go to that next level. i always seen myself having sex before marriage but i was never really ready no matter what my mind said when it came down to it i got to scared. i have someone who understands and loves me enough to wait and that makes me not be afraid.

My husband and I waited until we got married to have sex. This was a very difficult decision to uphold and we were tempted many times, but we believed it was what God wanted for us. We are only 18 and 19 years old (we got married 2 months ago. We’re undergrads and did it over winter break before changing housing. In response to “We’re ‘cheating’”, I feel that part of believing that God wanted us to wait for marriage was also believing that God wanted us to be able to love each other freely within marriage, and we saw no reason to wait for any social landmark. It was between us and God. If you want it bad enough it’ll work out, and if you follow his will, God will bless you. We saw many miracles during the planning process.) but we had long decided that we wanted to be together and were ready to enter into the joy and safety of the commitment of marriage.
Adding sex to our relationship has presented many challenges, but so has sharing space in one small apartment. Our communication and expectations were not always clear (those regarding sex and all other topics), leading to awkward and uncomfortable disagreements. We believe that the blessing of the commitment we’ve made is that we can now place everything in the context of our lives together, and focus on the entire experience, not just on whether we had a good or bad day (or sexual experience). Before we were married we desired a greater intimacy but would not allow ourselves to share it because we wanted to save it to bond us in marriage and set that time of commitment apart from our dating relationship. Now we are again in a relationship in which we can grow together as a couple. We feel we can share ourselves more freely because we know we can depend on one another for life. Our relationship is safe and stable and we have clarified our intent of love and commitment through our actions.
Now for the nitty gritty: It hurt at first. My virgin vagina was very tight at first and needed to be stretched. Despite using lube and experimenting with condoms (which I would suggest as a way to make sex better if someone is having trouble with pain) it really didn’t get better for me until either my husband or I inserted two fingers and gently pulled the walls apart before intercourse. After all, the vagina is a muscle like any other. Ladies, I would advise doing this before you get married if you think you might need it. And always keep in mind, it will get better!
Through all the different challenges my husband and I are both very thankful that we were with someone we love and can rely on.
P.S. I’m sorry but I completely disagree with “Bee”. We were introduced to this idea before we were married through pressure from my husband’s father. He made the point that you may be sexually compatible at one time, but that doesn’t imply that you will be for life. However, we both feel that sexual compatibility is a day-to-day thing. It’s not so much your bodies (see my story above) as a couple’s willingness to give to one another and work with one another. I do understand, however, that if both people are very experienced making a long term commitment may entail more “matching tastes” than growing and developing them together. To each his own in life. I mean only to be encouraging to those who are going through what we did.

I am a 17 year old girl who was raised in a Godly home, I have a boyfriend that i have known for 2 years and we have been together for about a year and a half of that. We both are commited to a Godly life and we have never kissed, and we barely hold hands. We are harassed and questioned all the time of why we don’t kiss, why we dont even date, I say that its our choice so that we can keep eachother pure and out of temptation. My family loves him, and I adore his mom. We go to the same church and we are both very involved there. We are examples to the kids younger than us and many of the young pre-teen boys look up to him while the pre-teen girls look up to me. I have made a choice to stay pure till I am married, and I am even thinking about waiting to share my first kiss on my wedding day, if it is with the guy I have now or some one else, I know it will be special either way. I do NOT agree that sex is ok before marriage. Sex is ment for marriage. It’s a God given thing between a man and woman who have said thier vows and mean it. Why give up part of you to many men, when you can have a better kind of sex with the man you marry and only him?

I am 17 and have made that choice.. I plan to keep it till I have found that man and until he places that wedding ring on my finger and we exchange our “I Do’s” will I give up my virginity.

Although, I am not going to lie, I am scarred for that night, I dont want to look like a dork, or make things awkward. I have been told that it hurts, and that you bleed a little, and I dont want the man i marry to be discusted. I have heard that its fun.. but pain doesnt sound so fun to me… What am I supposed to do on my wedding night anyways? Just let him take over? Do we go straight to the bed? I am also super self concious of my body.. I am skinny, about 113 lbs. and I am 5′ 4″, but I dont like the way I look with out clothes, what will he think? How do I get my self out of that wonderment? Do any of you (mainly christian women who can relate who are married or have had the same experience…) have any advice for me? I know I am still young, but is there really any age when you get the “Ok” to finaly know this stuff? Thank you!

God has created us to be sexual. We are created with sexual wants. But when you have it outside of marriage, you have sinned and have fallen into the temptation. It is OK to want it, it is OK to think about it.. we are created to want it. But like I said, God created it for a man and woman to share and enjoy inside of marriage.

In response to “Kae”, don’t worry about being self-conscious. I used to struggle with the same thing, but then I met the man I will marry. I can PROMISE you that once you build that loving and trusting relationship with the man you will marry, you will just know that he will love you no matter what you look like. It’s hard to explain because I didn’t use to understand either, but trust me. You will know that he won’t care (or else he’s just not the right guy at all). And as far as feeling like a dork.. don’t worry about that either. If you can find a man that is waiting as well, then you can both be awkward together and it will be all the more special.

well..i’m quite interested to know how it feel during our first night..is it really hurt compared with the pain of having period every month?? i’ll getting married but maybe 2 or 3 years later..right now i’m just too curious to know how we can separate our mind from thinking how hurt its gonna be..i really love my partner right now, and we believe of having sex only after marriage..i love pure thing..i wanna be pure just for my loved one..its make us Special right..we have coupled for 4 years..lots of temptation happen..but thanks god we manage to keep our relationship in pure line..No SeX untill we truly give our heart on wedding day

Hi, Kae. I share your opinion completely as to pureness. I will pray for you to be strong till the very end. I was once seduced but said “no” on time. I have understood I love God more than myself and these earthly wishes and sexual dissoluteness make us weaker and bring closer to Devil. Hardly oneone can be found like you nowadays. May God bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its best to wait for marriage.
I had a friend who dated this “Christian” guy, who was a “virgin.” She wanted to wait til marriage but things happened and she had sex with him. After they had sex he treated her completely differently. He showed her less respect. Months later, she found out that he was not a virgin and had sex with three other girls. Waiting til marraige is best, and you can work out all the kinks in marriage counseling. Plus, most teenagers are not mature yet and when you add sex to the mix it complicates things. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years, and although its hard to resist, I know we can do it. Even if you don’t have strong religion like others sex before marriage is still bad. Its bound to mess up your relationship.

I am a Christian. I’m 23 years old and will be getting married in two months. My soon to be husband and I have never had sex. I am a virgin but he is not. We have been able to build a strong relationship. my friends who have had sex before always have a sad story at the end of everything even though it starts well.waiting is best. Christian or no Christian. It shows that the relationship is built on virtues that are lasting and not passing pleasures that come and go. Being a Christian however, gives you an edge. You have the Holy Spirit to help you stay pure Before Marriage. It is Very Possible!

he’s right girl

Thank you Kelli and Daisyrose! For your imput and prayers. I really dont want to be one of those teens who messes up befor marriage. It’s so common today and so tempting, I know God has a WONDERFUL plan for me. I think as us humans.. we are never able to wait.. How manytimes do you or someone who is driving, yell at the other driver (who cant hear you) to stop pressing their break, or yell at them to go faster? How many of us have ran up and down the isle of cash regesters to find the shortest line..? We can never just take the time to slow down and wait, and be patient.. We want what we feel like having and we want it now… what feels good and “right” to us.. but it makes it that much better to wait.

Wow so many comments with different views.
I definitely agree that the best decision you will ever take is waiting to have sex until after marriage, it will be more special and you have no reason to feel guilty about anything if you wait. and trust me its no easy thing, but im 22 getting married with the man God has blessed me with and he is also a virgin, it will definitely be more special knowing that the man i waitied for waited for me too. but of course we are human, we make mistakes, but God can always cleanse us and make us new, falling in love with Him first has been the greatest experience ever, God is the answer. the Bible has answers and im telling you if you are searching for answers, just talk to Him, He is always there for you with arms wide open to offer you freedom from anything.

p.s if you havent seen the movie
FIREPROOF its a great movie about relationships.

God bless you all

Kae, thanks for having the courage to share your story and opinions with us. I’m wondering if married women who are reading this would like to comment on self confidence and body image, which you brought up in your comment. I, for instance, find that I feel comfortable with my husband and he makes me feel wanted and special, so I don’t worry so much about my chubby thighs or pasty skin anymore. I just go with the flow. What do the others think?

i LOVE SEX! YAHHHHHH!

Having sex before marriage is very easy and dangerous as well. But people need to know that thay are different than animals. Having sex with many people is animals behaviour, if somebody wants to na an animal he can do like them.

Fully agree with you!!!!!!!
People, let’s live with God!!!

So I’m a virgin and I’m a Christian and I am going to wait until I get married to have sex. I know sex before marriage is wrong. I don’t see myself getting married for at least (probably more than) 5 years. The only problem i have is that in my mind, that’s a long time to wait for sex. Honestly, I really don’t want to wait that long! I know it’ll be worth the wait but that’s a hard wait…

There are things we may do and we may not. You are luckier than me, I don’t know even the approximate number of years I have to wait for. But I am sure now I am a con sex before marriage. If you feel at loss, log in and leave the message for us all. We will support you with pleasure.

Any lady hwo wants sex before marriage thought about getting pregnent??

Never. A few people think of the danger at that moment. That’s the problem indeed.

for men, there is no consequences, but for women, pregnency, losing viginity, in addition to being so cheap woman.

Not only women lose their virginity. As for cheapness and purity it concerns both. The only thing here that makes it worse for the women is to get pregnant and if the she is God-conscious she will not make an abortion and will give birth. But this coin has got its other side – if the man is not egocentric he will never leave her alone. Here all people should understand: sex is a two-people action and if it ends in pregnancy, it’s the matter of two. By now I haven’t understood why all say, only the woman is to blame!!! But why? HE was with her too.

You are right Daisyrose. I meant that the woman is the big loser here. Also man will think she might had sex with somebody else and he might not accept to continue with her. Actually woman who maintained her virginity is a very valuble and expensive jewelry and this the the woman a man hope to share his life with.

Fully agree. I hope that all of us we’ll have enough patience.

Daisyrose – your mail

postgraduate06@ukr.net

I am not religious, but i am a virgin and waiting till i am married, which will be in about a month. i choose to wait for alot of reasons, i knew i was not emotionally ready, and did not want to deal with the physical complications. being 21 and a virgin, i got alot of crap about it from my friends and other people, some people in my family dont believe me.

And some times it is hard, i had alot of guys walk away when i told them i was not ready, and that was very hard. i dont think anyone realizes that.

I met the love of my life two years ago and we have been dating a year and he understands and suports my choice. he has been sexualy active for the past 8 years. but he loved me enough to understand me, and to respect me,

while i am so scared of my wedding night, because i have heard it will hurt, im am glad i waited, i can lay next to my husband and know that i gave him something i cherish very much.

the point is i dont judge if you wait or not, it is your body, your right, but FOR ME, this is the right choice. like i sad im not religous, i drink, i smoke, and im not innocent, but i have waited and i do think it is going to be amazing and wonderful. and i know he feels the same way. he thinks i am even more special for keeping something so important to me and such an amazing gift to him on our wedding night, oh yeah , we are so excited!

My wedding is about two weeks from now,and i have never had sex in my whole life,am 25 of age,am scared it might hurt me.What should i do?

Nancy, you can get some advice about having sex for the first time on your wedding night (including some ways to minimize the pain) on this site at http://newlyweds.about.com/od/lovesex/a/firsttimesex.htm

Congrats on your wedding! The sex will be great because it will be special and you love each other.

My congratulations on your wedding, Nancy.Everything will be fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t worry and enjoy your time!

HI
I would like to said that always is good
to have sex before marriage because that
is part of what your going to have for the rest of your life. and suprisses always come
and please women don’t get comfuse whit men
we all men masturbate at early age so tath means we aren’t virgin no more.
we men always said the opposite to the girls
that is part of our macho men
virginity is important for women ,not for men
we never said because is something that some how will hurt someone
some countries use this very serios and is same thing is part of the macho men
is a traditional cultures but in the inside
we don’t care
infat most of separetion are because they
did’t have sex before married and remenber sex
is very importan in couples be open said wha
you feel or think.

I strongly disagree with you, Alex. Doesn’t matter whether you are a macho man or not, you do have to care about others. What is a macho man? It’s a person who lives for his own satisfaction and brings no goodness to people. Do such people have any sense in their lives?

hello all
if u have sex b4 marriage u are simply telling your partner that ur willing to sleep with someone ur not married to. think about it!!

Very smart of you, Africanos!!!!

my husband and i waited till our wedding night before we had sex,we have been courting for five years and i most confess i went through hell,it was so painful and i avoided sex for 3weeks.

If you ask me about it? It’s better to get married first before sex. I got married at the age of 23 and my husband is 24 years old. and I telling you that

” I GOT MARRIED FIRST BEFORE I GAVE UP MY VIRGINITY TO MY HUSBAND” Yes! my husband is my FIRST MAN and I’m proud of it.

We’ve been married three years already but we still inlove each other. I think, we will die very old together! We are both happy for our marriage.

i decided a long time ago to wait until i was married. Needless to say I was thrilled when i met a guy who had made the same decision when he was young as well. I am 22, he is 24. we’ve been dating for 4 years and it hasn’t been easy, but i believe it’ll be worth it.

I waited with mu wife until first day of marriage. It is a little funny because you have decided to stay away from sex and it is fine, but on the day of weddding afterwards there is nothing that stops you . Waiting after hetting married is more difficult than waiting b4 getting married. What I want to say is that if you have waited for more than 25 years you should not finalize the deed in the first 20 minutes of being in the bedroom. )

I guess everyone is doing the mistake i did,
I wish I could go slower over the whole deed. because for a first timer the deed is 5 minutes. Make it longer.

some advices (which i could not follow, but if you follow you will never forget for life)
1. Before you get in the same room it would be nice if you could have a walk where you could be more intimate than you were before marriage like you can hold hands, hug and give some small kisses.
2. Once you are covered by the same blanket keep talking, (in my case it was; silence for 3 minutes, no talking and then started kissing and finished in 10 minutes.) keep talking, make fun or talk about the engagement period, tell her that it reallyhas been a dream for you getting married and as you talk you can play with her eye brows, which is not very sexual.
3. It would be ideal if you behave as if you are not going to have sex that night. Delay the deed as much as possible. Sometimes I even think that not having sex the first night would be more magnificient, you could have that on the first morning. That would be wow )
4. Depending on the level of shyness you may start kissing. The golden rule is: go to the next step only as late, as slow as possible. Before you start kissing one thing that you can do is holding her hand, you are not going to talk in bed with no touching. And if you adult both should be excited enough only by being in the same bed together. That should be exciting for a first timer and it is.
5. Do not take of all your clothes at once. That was my mistake. You should continue kissing and stop and stare her and tell her she is magnificent. By this time she should be thinking of what is wrong with this guy, she should be wandering whether you are going to do it or not. That is what you should aim for, you should be able to make her even worry that the first night would be only kissing and rubbing. Kiss her eyes, lips neck patiently slowly (you can kiss passionately fast with heavy breathing too, the point is the timing, delay delay). She can be lying on her back and you may have your thigh over her and then your thigh can stay between her thighs.
6. Try to keep her bra and paties on. (this is the first night, you will have all the time in the world to have any type of crazy sex, quickie, full naked, in the kitchen). With your hands you can work her belly or her back. You can add kisses to her belly, neck and shoulders. If your wife is shy (even if she is not with you) you can bring her hands around you.
7. Start working with her thighs using your hands, you can even go kissing there, you decide for yourself depending on you two. It is good to have your wife on her back. You may start to work with the breasts while bras are still on, go around the borders. Take the bras off and start kissing them . I learned after my marriage that breasts are very sensitive, now it is by default. While kissing her breasts your hands can be downstairs, part her thighs and enjoy her thighs for some time, their inner. enjoy them and after that you can get closer to the HOT zone. By now you may consider being completely naked, the last thing that should be on should be your wife’s panties.
8. You may try going missionary possition because you can control movements in case of pain. But you can tease her while she is on her back, lift her left leg, and you are on your side , you can be spooning or half spooning.
about the details after this point you may figure out yourself. After you finish the deed (I wish I had done all these I mentioned above in one hour and not in 10 minutes) you should talk and tell her it was magnificient. If you are not very sleepy you should (may) do it total three or four times, with breaks of course. The best would be if you wake up at night (you have never had a second one in the bed so there is a possibility of waking up during the night )) if you wake up, repeat all of the above procedures. I would go back to that day I would do like 3 or 4 times with breaks> but do not worry, the breakfast is to come. One thing to note is: do not drink heavily because you will not be in controll you will sleap all night and your first night will really happen on the second calendar night. So try to have the best time, the longest time on your wedding night so avoid uncontrollable drinking.

Somebody had asked in a post above what it feels like, it feels great, unbeliavable, as Dustin Hoffman said in Rainman : WET.

So my main point is, if you have waited more than 20 years wait another hour, it is worth.

I’m 23 and I’m still a virgin. I fully intend to wait until marriage to have sex. The problem is that I’m really worried about the pain. What exactly does it feel like? How intense is it? Is the pain similar to having menstrual cramps?

Also are you supposed to shave off all of your pubic hair or is a trim sufficient (I don’t have a lot of pubic hair to begin with)?

am a christian, i lost my virginity when i was 13 but i haven’t had sex in a while. i sometimes wish i hadnt because i cnt stop thinking about past experiences of sex. I think its such as amazing thing to wait and what a gift to give your husband.

Janice, how much pubic hair you have is totally up to you. You can shave it, trim it, or leave it. Most couples try it out with all of those stages. As a man, it doesn’t bother me how much hair a woman has down there, although if you want your future lover to give you oral pleasure, shave it.

I didn’t wait till marriage and I’m 21. I don’t regret not waiting. I know that seems callous to you religious folk. I use to be one of you. The truth is, when the time comes to get married I’m going to be sharing a home and a bed with the woman I love before we tie the knot. How else will we know if it is something we wish to maintain for life? It is a true commitment and those are the major parts of it

Yeah. Nobody told what they mean by sex..We kiss and believe this is OK, so maybe non-penetration sex is also OK? What is the limit? Well, we always refer to the Bible. But I personally believe only in the Gospels, anything else looks like human interpretations and frustrates when it counter people from different religions… And another very important feature – the marriage..Do you believe that putting rings is enough? Should you go to the church or you could receive the blessing in civil ceremony??? I personally believe that the marriage and sex is the miracle we do not know and can just feel (not be told by pastor or rabbie)

Just out of curiosity, to what Bible verse are you all referring to that condemns premarital sex? Still waiting for marriage to have sex myself, but I have been searching the Bible for years for this fabled “thou shalt not have sex outside of marriage” law and seriously cannot find it. I can find verses that people have interpreted in several different ways, but nothing that directly states that one shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage (which is curious, considering Leviticus 18 goes through some very explicit sexual activities that must be avoided, not to mention that most of God’s laws ARE spelled out very clearly). Thoughts?

My fiance and I will be married in 4 months and we have decided to wait for our wedding night to have sex. He has been sexually active in the past, however I have never had sex. Now that I am testing out birth control for the first time I am finding it harder and harder to wait for that night. However my life long desire to have that most intimate wedding night has always ruled over my temptations in the past. I know also that, even though he has had sex before, he would never let us ruin our wedding night by pressuring me (or letting me pressure him).
I just wanted to thank all those who have waited and shared their stories. It really is encouraging for those of us who are still “on the other side of the fence” to know it is completely worth the wait. I look forward to looking back on our wedding night and being proud of my decision to wait for that night.
Thanks again!

I just got married 2 weeks ago, and we waited untill our wedding night. I was a virgin but my husband wasn’t. Anyway, the pain was worse than I actually thought, so we couldn’t make much ‘progress’ on wedding night…he had to stop.

We are still on that ‘progress’. One day we will reflect ‘those days’ and will laugh together I know!

I just got married 2 weeks ago, and we waited untill our wedding night. We both are Christians. When I was in high school, I promised this to God, that I’ll wait untill I get married, to give myself to my husband only.

Anyway, the pain was worse than I actually thought, so we couldn’t make much ‘progress’ on wedding night…he had to stop.

We are still on that ‘progress’. One day we will reflect ‘those first days’ and will laugh together I know!

I am getting married in 3 weeks and me and my fiance decided to wait until marriage(neither one of us have had sex). We met in high school and have been dating 5 years. everynow and then I think about how much it will hurt, but I am so excited to share this moment with my fiance. We are both undergraduates, I am 20(21 in sept) and he is 22(23 in aug).
For those of you who are married, could you tell me what things you would suggest to take along on the honeymoon to make things enjoyable? thanks amberjac9888@yahoo.com

i am 30 yrs old and never had sex. I am waiting to share that part of me with my husband but still scared because i dont know how i will feel after the intercourse.So my question is, how do you feel emotionally after the intercourse?

I actually just ran a story on the Newlyweds site about what to pack for your honeymoon: http://newlyweds.about.com/od/afterthewedding/tp/honeymoonmusthaves.htm

I think not waiting until marriage to have sex is completely wrong. God designed sex for marriage so you can bond with your spouse in the most intimate way. I am getting married Oct 17 and I’m so excited to be with my husband for the first time. We may try to do things our way, but when we die to ourselves and do it God’s way, I know from personal experience things have a way of working out better than I could ever imagine. Yes it’s hard, I find it hard to wait too, but I would really encourage everyone who is waiting to keep it up. It will be such a blessing in the end.

k……Im also about to marry bt i will wait for first wedding night

It is up to the couple to decide when to engage in sex; it should be a private decision. But nowadays the pressure is there to think of sex as recreational and without consequences. Hollywood constantly glamorizes infidelity and extra-marital affairs. The ideas of abstinence, celibacy or even postponed gratification have become alien concepts in popular culture. Like Wally says, people who choose to wait are judged fiercely. Nowadays, it takes courage and strength of character to defer or delay sex. The people who put off sex until marriage are the true mavericks and rebels, not the people who do it on the first date.

I understand that some people want to make sure they are sexually compatible with a partner before they commit. But you can be sexually “compatible” with a partner who is completely inappropriate for you in every other way. Having sex with someone can make you think you’re in love with him, when you’re not. Having sex with someone can make you stay in a relationship, when you shouldn’t. I’ve been in relationships that were crazy, pointless and dysfunctional, but the sex was amazing. If not for the sex, I’d have been outta there much sooner (or, better yet, not gotten involved in the first place).

Looking back on my misspent youth, at least 95% of the things I regret doing were related somehow or other to sex. I don’t mean that, without sex, I would have led a blissfully mistake-free life. But I sure could have saved myself–and many others–a lot of grief and hassle by keeping my knees together until marriage.

BTW Curious: it is the 7th Commandment–Thou shalt not commit adultery.

ok so im a 16 year old teen who has been seeing this girl for 4 months, and we are debating if shes ready or not, and we are joking about it and being serious about it. i have lost my virginity before and shes a virgin. we love eachother and i want to know if that our love will grow with each spiritual experience of sex that we have, and also for the day to come, what is the best way to make it special for her first time?

I am a 21 year old woman and I have never had sex, or anything close to sex. I was raised in the Jewish religion but decided a while ago that religion would play ZERO a role with my body. People always talk about how sex is a special gift you give your husband- what is he going to give me? I expect him to be a virgin as well. I hate it when people talk about sex as “a special gift”, it’s disgusting. While I don’t think people should be careless with their body I also respect people who do have lots of sex and take care of themselves.

I can’t stand how most women don’t know their bodies. Sex hurts because a woman is not aroused, when a woman is aroused, her vagina gets wet and opens.

There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin and nothing wrong with not being one.

Tiff

Ericmarem@yahoo.com

in gods eyes, you need to wait until you are maried to have sex. otherwies you are considered “unpure” and you dont want god to be ashamed of you. but if you have allready made that mistake, repent to god and he will forgive you!, amen

hi everyone..
i m a virgin.. and getting married soon…within 40days. i waited and m waiting to have sex with my husband.we both are really exicieted about that.it was a arrange marriage but now it has turned up into love marriage. we both talk about our fantasies,imaginations and many more.i hate him for loving me.

I’m not a virgin, and I’m so thankful I decided to have sex before marriage. While I understand that deciding when to have sex is a personal decision, and everyone is different, I think equating premarital sex with something sinful or catastrophic is innacurate. I am getting married this October to the man I’ve been with for three and a half years. We’ve lived together for 2 years. He is my best friend. He also happens to be the ONLY person I have ever slept with. On our first date I knew there was a strong chance I would marry him. I had sex with him within the first two weeks of our courtship. If I had felt shame or guilt about having sex with my fiance when we first started dating there is no way we would have been able to develop a healthy, strong relationship. If you want to wait until marriage to have sex that’s totally fine, just also realize that it’s totally fine to have premarital sex–the important thing is to do what’s right for you. I thank God everyday I took advantage of the free will he gave me and decided to have premarital sex with the man I’m going to marry in less than five months!

i am too shy talking abut this thing s i dont know why

A few of you have asked about how one feels emotionally after experiencing intercourse for the first time with your husband or wife. Honestly, I think it is a bit painful at first, at least for the woman. But if your husband is gentle and you take things slowly, you will feel even closer than before with your spouse. There’s some truth that it’s a stress reducer. Most of all, you should feel full of love. And you should know that it keeps getting better and better.

i just got married and im still a virgin..we waited

I am a christian and so is my intended, i am almost 29 and she is almost 27, we are both virgins, and we are getting married in 78days. We decided to wait till wedding night and i know it is worth it. We may be inexperienced but, it will be good because we dont have any experience to compare with, so we learn with one another. I think as a christian it is not a matter of you and your fiance(e) deciding to have sex before marriage or not, i think its what God says about it. Having sex before marriage is fornication, lets call a spade a spade, i know its not easy, God put the emotions there, but at the same time he want us to exercise self control through the holy spirit and wait to enjoy the fulness of holy matrimony. We have been tempted a couple of times, but God provided a way out since we made a commitment to him and to one another to wait. Its vital and God intend sex only in marriage, society and mordernisation cant change that.

My husband and I waited to have sex for the first time on our wedding night. I am so glad that we waited it made that night so special. I think that waiting makes it easier because you wait so long for that moment and its finally come. you will be nervous but it is worth the wait:)

I am a huge supporter of “true love waits” campaigns and pledges. Even setting my religious ideals aside, I believe that saving oneself for marriage is an amazing thing to do. While it takes a lot of courage and patience to wait, the reward is sure to be sweet – both on earth and in heaven.

That being said, I have a hunch that most of the people commenting on this article who waited to have sex are young (teens or 20s) and/or share the same moral ground with their partner. For the rest of us, this issue becomes MUCH more convoluted.

Just something to chew on.

My husband and I waited until marriage for sex, for religious reasons. Obviously, it was a new and different experience for both of us, but still very passionate and tender. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I am a 21 year old college senior and my fiancee and I decided to wait to have sex until we are married. We are both virgins (something I’ve discovered to be relatively rare in college and our culture in general) Our wedding is in 248 days and I can’t wait! We are both devout Christians who take the Word of God very seriously and seek to honor God with our relationship as much as possible. Although I understand that not everyone believes in waiting to have sex until marriage, I have always said (even before I became a Christian) that waiting makes the most logical sense regardless of what religion you profess or belief system you hold. If you wait till marriage, you don’t have to worry about STDs, pregnancies, emotional damage if there’s a breakup, etc. Why not wait to share your body with the one whom you can trust and has made a SOLID commitment to you and ONLY you for the rest of their lives? Why not wait to share the ultimate expression of love (through giving someone your body) for your husband/wife when you truly become ONE with that person? Don’t get me wrong, waiting is not easy; it definitely takes some discipline and control, but I know that on my wedding night, it will be worth it in every way imaginable. (And I know that the Lord will be delighted in our union with one another).

“The pain of discipline will prevent you from the pain of regret.”

i have been dating for over two months. I am a virgin, and I’ve been dating guys who always had wanted one thing, they just wanted to get into my pants the first few weeks we were dating. One even broke up with me because i wasn’t easy. So now i’ve been dating this great guy, he is very different. I’m not a sexual active person but he was. He has been with two girls before me, so when we started dating I’ve told him that i’m not a sexual active person and I’m a virgin and I want to stay that way until I’m ready. I’m surprise because he didn’t react like my previous did. He completly understood how i felt. I really love this guy because he treated me with so much respect that sometimes I cry, i never thought that i could find someone special like him. So he asked me one day when am I going to give it up. So i say I don’t know, we’ve talked about it. I’m scared because I’ve heard from many ppl that after they had done it, the boyfriend left them cheated on them afterwards. I’m scared of that might happen to me or I will geet hurt. So he told me not to worry about it that his not going to do that to me, but i’mhaving doubts of still giving it up to anybody. I want to lose during my wedding night or i want it to a special someone. He is really special to me and he told me how he really felt about me. Well we had been doing oral and that’s it because he is the first guy I’ve done it with and I like doing it to him. He haven’t ask me about having sex lately but we still do oral. I want to give it up to him but I’m still unsure of my self. Pls give me some advice and thanks in advance

I am a christian who believes that sex should be saved for marriage. For one thing, it gives the couple a bond that they share with noone else, bringing them closer and making each other feel special. From a more practical stand-point, you only have to worry about one sexual partner being tested.
On the other hand, my husband and I understand that the wedding is merely a ceremony; albeit a very nice and important one.
So we decided to copulate the day we promised ourselves to each other; and on the actual wedding night, remain fully clothed.
Call us strange but that’s what we did to prove that we were not having sex for the sake of tradition.
We were both virgins (he’d never even cared enough to kiss a girl before), but I had been deeply scarred very early on. He has done so much to make me feel comfortable in my sexuality without ever pressuring me. To us, sex is at the same time a fun little game we play together and a thing to be treated with great respect. He’s the kind that doesn’t mind if we try something wild that night; if I’m suddenly as terrified as a child; feeling anxious as a bride’s 1st night; or if we do nothing at all. And I love him for it.

Thank you for letting me share our way of doing things.

Marissa, Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. You’ll have to follow your own heart and make up your own mind about what to do. I personally, however, would not make any moves unless I was 100 percent certain of what I wanted. Perhaps, it would be helpful to speak with trusted relatives or a spiritual leader. Good luck!

I’m getting married on June 28 and I’m very excited. I am a virgin and am waiting for our wedding night. My husband to be is not, but that does not bother me. He is waiting for our wedding night. He has never pressured me into having sex because he respects the fact that waiting is very important to me. I love that about him. Like many, I am worried about the pain that I might experience and have been trying to find as much info about first time sex as I can to ease the nerves.

I’m religious and to me premarital sex is a big sin. But me and my fiancee can’t help it so we’re just doing petting….but no intercourse at all. We’ve been together for 2 years and never have sex, we’re still virgins and we want to save the sex for marriage.We believe sex in marriage is a beautiful sex to feel.

i agree sex before marriage is so animal thing , cos if there is true love there will be only one love that u can share with ur first and last and that will be oin ur weddin night…peace on u

Forgot to mention – that first time (on our wedding night at age 23) was some of the lousiest sex we have had in almost 35 years of marriage. It was also extremely significant and meaningful to both of us.

Wedding night virgins

Thoughts & Advice:

Do it with somebody who at least knows your situation, and respects you and will put forth a little special effort. Allow plenty of time.

Sex can be very pleasureable without love; it won’t create or replace love, but it adds to an already established loving relationship.

Wait for marriage? It’s certainly something very special to share with your partner, but if I’d done more “playing around” before marriage I probably would have been more faithful . . .

I’d suggest bringing a virgin to orgasm before trying intercourse: for guys, it will slow down his response a bit, and make it better for her. For girls, it will make her as open and lubricated as she’ll ever be. If you’re BOTH virgins – this is even MORE important to improving the quality of the sex. If you’re intending to be life partners a (physiologically) poor first experience may not matter in the long run, but if you haven’t made that commitment you should probably put a little effort into making the first time “good”.

“It doesn’t matter as much to guys.”? BULL!! It matters just as much, though possibly in a different way.

OK – My First Time!
Well, let’s see – we were both 23(!) and both still virgins. It was our wedding night, 1974. It was lousy sex. It was almost consensual rape. It was also extremely significant for both of us. We are still married – yes, to each other. (Although I occasionally remind her of the list I’m keeping of all the things my NEXT wife will, or will not, do.)

We had planned ahead – our wedding was 1:00 in the afternoon especially so that we could have a reception, and start making love at a decent hour. We had known each other for about a year, and been engaged for 10 months. In the last few months of the engagement we had done just about “everything but . . .”. I helped her to her first orgasm (her thighs around my ears) and she had done me orally, manually, and dry humping so we weren’t exactly ignorant of each others’ responses.

We had talked about postponing it, but I think we both knew we were going to do it. We got to our room about 7:00 pm and started deep kissing before the door latched. She gave me a choice: she’d get into one of her “honeymoon nighties”, or I could undress her, or she could undress herself (while I waited in the bathroom – I never quite understood that part!) and wait for me under the covers. I selected the nightie. She went to the bathroom to get ready, and I got into pajamas and waited on the bed.

She came out wearing a yellow gauze creation that was only faintly see-through. We talked and stalled a bit. We read each other some love poetry (not original) and Bible verses. This wasn’t agreed upon beforehand – we each intended to surprise the other with this romantic touch. We embraced and started necking. Probably 30 – 45 minutes later the clothes were off and I was eating her. After a LONG time of this (we agree that it was 15 minures or more) I was frustrated that I couldn’t bring her to climax, as I’d intended immediately before entry.
(During our lovemaking while engaged I had noticed how open and wet she was immediately after orgasm, and knew that was the best time to enter her. I also knew that it took only 5 – 10 minutes to bring her to climax.)

She said, “I’m ready.” Big (sexual) mistake! I should have known she wasn’t ready. She probably knew she wasn’t. We put a pillow under her bottom and put KY Jelly onto our genitals. From some book we had read together we thought these steps would make it better. She raised her knees and spread her thighs. I’d never been so excited – pounding heart, dry mouth, etc. I climbed on top. She hugged me and I tried to make entrance.

It hurt! I couldn’t find the opening! I mashed my cock head against something. OUCH! I thrust and bent my erection. Extreme OUCH!! I was embarassed, frustrated and impatient. Eventually, I found what felt like the right place. I knew I wasn’t really in – my cock head was painfully pinched. When I tried to push in, she’d pull back. When I pulled back, she moved with me so I never could get a run at her.

After 5 – 10 minutes of this we were both tense, frustrated, embarassed and sore. This was NOT what either of us expected. I paused to catch my breath. We looked into each others’ faces, without a clue of what to say or do. I should have rolled off and started a long session of cuddling and fondling. But I felt her relax just a little, and without thinking about it or meaning to I rotated my hips in a full circle. I didn’t actually feel her tear, but I felt myself slip in.

She felt it too. She didn’t scream, but she definitely vocalized her physical discomfort. She jerked and pulled her knees up, toward her chest, trying to squirm away. Bad tactic – it made everything line up just right, and I went all the way in. Again, not that I planned it, it was just the way we were positioned, how she moved, where my weight was, etc.

I HAD NEVER FELT ANYTHING SO GOOD!

She began to cry.

GOD IT FELT GREAT!

I thought, “I’m raping my virgin lover on our wedding night.”.

THIS FEELS SO WONDERFUL THAT SHE MUST CERTAINLY FEEL IT TOO!

Instinctively, I started stroking. She was sobbing. Mercifully, I only lasted about 30 seconds, probably half a dozen strokes.

The contractions were still running through me when I felt ashamed and sorry for what I’d done. I uncoupled quickly, and saw what a bloody mess we’d made. Previously, while she was getting dressed to be undressed, I had run warm water in the sink and had a washcloth and towel ready. It was probably the only thing I did right, although I expected to be cleaning up love juices rather than blood. Nevertheless I spent a long time bathing her genitals in warm water and assuring her that I loved her (which was true) and she was a great sex partner (as if I really knew!) and it was everything I’d hoped it would be (I should have been struck by lightning for telling that whopper!). We cuddled for a long time – she didn’t say many words, but her body recited an eloquent love poem.

About 11:00 we went down to the coffee shop and had ice cream. While sitting there, she noticed a slightly pink stain in the crotch of her white shorts. Thinking her period had come a week early (she’s always been very irregular) we hurried back to the room. Well, that’s not what it was. In all of our sex education, nobody had pointed out that “what goes in, must come out”, and her maidenhead was bidding an oh-so-faint farewell. She came out of the bathroom with no pants on, and said “Let’s do it again.”.

The second time was much better. We were more relaxed, unpressured, and we put her on top. The next day, on our fourth session, she finally had her first married orgasm. It was from cunnilingus, not intercourse, but we were both pleased with that. (It was almost a week before she started coming during intercourse.) All told we did it 5 times in the first 24 hours of our marriage – and haven’t kept count since.

Having sexual intercourse before marriage is a mortal sin. We waited. You should too.

Wow…who knew there were so many people who waited for marriage to lose their virginity. Most of the time when people say they waited they really got married at 18. How much waiting is that? My fiance and I are also waiting until our marriage is offical before we do the do. We are both 26 and have been together for 5 years. We are both Christians who live for God instead of thinking God lives for us…and I must say that I am a little disappointed with some of the Christian comments some of you have left. Yes, those of us who have a relationship with Christ know that fornication is disobedience (a.k.a. SIN) but God never bashed us over the head with that fact and neither should you be bashing others with it. Coming to others with harsh words and anger only closes ears and does not help anyone to salvation. Conviction is the Holy Spirit’s job…not yours. I’m pretty sure He’s capable of handling it himself. Your responsibility is to tell others of the love Christ has for them and of His work at Calvary. I definitely can relate to those of you who are still trying to wait but are sexually frustrated. It is hard now (no pun intended) but will definitely be worth it. My suggestion is to not spend so much time alone together. Go to public places for your dates. Make sure friends or parents are there when you are in the house together. When you are facing temptation while you are alone, pull out the Word to study or sing praises to the Lord. Thank you everyone for your tips on the honeymoon night. Very enlightening. I also was a little concerned about the pain. Any marriage that follows the commands of Christ truly can be a success…weather you waited or not. He said, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands.” Yes, that means that your husband is the head of your household. I know that holds a fear for some of you, but if you husband follows his command, there should be no need for fear. He said, “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loves the Church.” Christ put us first before his own needs…even to the point of laying down his life. When the husband can love his wife that way and the wife can submit because she does not fear…THEN marriage can last. Good luck to all of you who are still trying to wait. God Bless

Lovemaking before marriage is something that has gone on throughout human existence. Marriage is only a fairly recent tradition for the vast majority, only gaining approval from the church around 700 years ago (or 700AD, i have not done the appropriate reading recently). It was seen by the early church as an excuse to sin through formication. So for those of you who did not wait until marriage, try not to worry too much about something that cannot be changed.

Speaking from experience, i did not wait for marriage, i have however only had the one partner. i feel that if i was to give advice, it would be not to rush in. if you choose to wait until marriage, that is amazing, it is truly an achievement! i feel i let lust get the better of me, and my first time was disappointing on an emotional level. i was upset with myself, because i knew at the time it could not be undone. i was not in love with my husband at the time, only in lust, although i grew to love him, I am sure it would have been better if i had waited longer, maybe not marriage, but more thought out, and meaningful.

Another very important consideration is weather you are emotionally ready to have sex. There are consequences of sex. If you have beliefs about contraception and sex before marriage, defiantly essential to wait, if you throw in you community expectations, consequences of premarital sex could be disastrous. For those of us who have do not have to worry about these things, STI’s, the need for pap tests every 2 years, potential pregnancy, sharing your body, not just with your partner, but the vast number of medical professionals you will see once you become sexually active, are just some of the things to consider. You have to be prepared for every worst case scenario, don’t expect it to happen, but at least think about how you would deal with it. Can you raise an unplanned child, or would you consider terminating a pregnancy? how can you prevent STI’s? Can you handle a stranger taking a scraping from your cervix? If you only have one partner and wait for marriage this does simplify issues. In our modern world, that is something we can all use.
Lovemaking before marriage is something that has gone on throughout human existence. Marriage is only a fairly recent tradition for the vast majority, only gaining approval from the church around 700 years ago (or 700AD, i have not done the appropriate reading recently). It was seen by the early church as an excuse to sin through formication. So for those of you who did not wait until marriage, try not to worry too much about something that cannot be changed.

Speaking from experience, i did not wait for marriage, i have however only had the one partner. i feel that if i was to give advice, it would be not to rush in. if you choose to wait until marriage, that is amazing, it is truly an achievement! i feel i let lust get the better of me, and my first time was disappointing on an emotional level. i was upset with myself, because i knew at the time it could not be undone. i was not in love with my husband at the time, only in lust, although i grew to love him, I am sure it would have been better if i had waited longer, maybe not marriage, but more thought out, and meaningful.

Another very important consideration is weather you are emotionally ready to have sex. There are consequences of sex. If you have beliefs about contraception and sex before marriage, defiantly essential to wait, if you throw in you community expectations, consequences of premarital sex could be disastrous. For those of us who have do not have to worry about these things, STI’s, the need for pap tests every 2 years, potential pregnancy, sharing your body, not just with your partner, but the vast number of medical professionals you will see once you become sexually active, are just some of the things to consider. You have to be prepared for every worst case scenario, don’t expect it to happen, but at least think about how you would deal with it. Can you raise an unplanned child, or would you consider terminating a pregnancy? how can you prevent STI’s? Can you handle a stranger taking a scraping from your cervix? If you only have one partner and wait for marriage this does simplify issues. In our modern world, that is something we can all use.

I would like to mention that I have heard plenty of people comments that waiting will create problems further down the track, people get bored and wish they had tried someone else. In my experience, this is a load of crap. I have not been tempted by anyone in 6 years, I don’t even look. I love my husband, and honestly I am not bored with him, and the idea of trying anyone new actually makes me feel sick.

If you want to wait for marriage i feel it could be nothing but an amazing experience for a newly wed couple to share.

An add on from my previous post, I am not Christian, but have a major in Catholic Theology in my undergrad studies. The biggest sin is to not follow what you feel is right.
If you truly believe it is wrong to have sex before marriage, then premarital sex is a sin. If you believe it is right to have sex before marriage, it would be a sin to wait! Although I do not follow a particular faith, I believe we have an understanding and forgiving God, who gave us free will. It is fantastic to have faith and belong to a community, but never betray what is in your own heart, just because someone tells you that’s what you should do. Just keep in mind polygamy is also widely practiced in the bible, and stoning, and many things we do not do today, I would suggest, read and study, make up you own mind, never and judge others for their choices.

I am eagerly waiting for the wedding night to have sex with my wife?

im 18…ive been raised in a christian household..being taught that sex before marriage is wrong…i have a boyfriend..and im truly falling in love with him…im a virgin…he has be raised the same way i have been, being taught the premarital sex is wrong… i strongly agree that sex is suxh a gift, and that this day in age it is taken so “lightly.” i do not want it to be taken so lightly…
and advice???
and also with the whole keep an open communication when talking about sex with your partner how do i bring it up?

Wow, time flies! Been away for a while – nice to see some interesting posts have been generated since.

Still, my original question stands: where in the Bible does it say that premarital sex is sinful? I did catch the one post that pointed to the 7th Commandment, but it must be said that adultery involves sex with someone else’s spouse. In other words, it’s a sin because the married person(s) involved are breaking a vow they made to another person. That makes total sense. However, that’s different from what I’m asking; my question involves two people who have never made such a commitment to anyone. Where in the Bible does God say point-blank, “Don’t have sex until you’re married”?
Anyone?

Hi My name is Tasha and you asked a question. Where in the bible that says premarital sex is sinful? You need to read 1 Corthians Chp.5,6,7. You will find the answers your looking for. It’s a sin to sleep with anyone that’s not your wife are husband. And in order to see that it’s wrong you must be brought into the light of God, and having a relationship with him. I have been waiting for alomost three years for God to bless me with a husband. And it feels good that I’m presenting my body as a living sacrifice unto God. The devil want us to think that it’s Okay to have premarital sex with whoever and he does that to keep you in bondage and stop all those wonderful blessings the Lord have in store for you.
Ask God to help you and keep you. I hope you read the scriptures. May God bless you

I still insist that sex is worth waiting for. I think many couples perhaps unfaithful in their marriage because they a room to make comparisons when they are finally in marriage.thats they can compare the perfomance of their partners to others with whom they have sex in the past. It becomes unfortunate if the their partners’ perfomance are below their past experinces.But just imagine you are having with that one man or woman for the first time in your life?
To the young who love God:
practise to love God through daily devotion by reading and praying and also fasting.
Keep good company. people who occupy your inner circle of life can inluence you greatly.Have friends who can hold you accountable.
Have a vision for you life. what are you living for? if you are not living for something you can fall for anything. Ie is your vision living for God, having a godly marriage and off spring etc ? This can give a good reason to wait until you are ready to have a sexul union sealed by the blessings of God.
ps: for women who think their bodies are out of shape- remember that true is that which start from the inside. beautify the inner person and this will not obsess you. Men pls let your wives or fiancees know that they are the most beautiful for you. you ahave a duty to help her develop a healthy self esteem by doing this.
Everyone rem: virginity is goes beyond the breaking of the hymen. Its also about giving yourself wholly-spiritually,emotionally etc to one another and specifically to the one you are committed to in life
Have a blessed day!

I am engaged to be married, We decided to start intercourse in the first night of t he wedding. although in our religion couples do have sex before marriage. the question is that how we cant start the sex. I mean that first of all we must terminate the virginity. which way is the best to follow to do it? can we have a normal sex after the losing the virginity? please reply it to my email

I’m 22, getting married in a little less than a year. Indeed I am a virgin, and indeed I am waiting. I’m a Christian like a lot of people who have left comments. I’m so glad that I am waiting, but it doesn’t mean that I am innocent. I have done things with my significant other that are displeasing to God…and those are the things I have compromised on my wedding night. However, God forgives me. And I KNOW that my wedding night will be amazing. I am of course not expecting fireworks…but unlike a lot of Christian couples, my fiance’ and I are very open about how we feel about sex and our expectations. I’m honestly not nervous at all. It’s pretty fun to talk about in preparation for that big night…but its something you also have to be careful doing. Talking about it can lead to other things. Saving sex for marriage is the best way to go…i’ve never met anyone who regretted it, but I have met people who regretted not waiting. It just makes sense.

These posts are really encouraging. I too am waiting until marriage.

However, I have a huge question about sexual compatibility, or lack there of.
Anyone experience this? Is it always something that can be overcome?

*I don’t mean sexual incompatibility that comes from inexperience (this usually improves with practice&&time). I mean differences in preference or just being unable to satisfy the other. Do you think it’s enough to really ruin a marriage?

I waited untill my wedding night to have sex with my husband,yet my husband had been experienced and was actually glad the woman he chose to make his wife was a virgin. This is strictly a prefrence of each individual as far as how important weather or not they have or have not had sex before, this surely has no bearing on the perosn you decide to marry as far as weather or not they are good, or nice , or anything for that matter. But my husband just perferred a virgin. And as you can see it did not matter to me, I just wanted someone that treated me right , and cared for me and just truly loved me just for me.

i count myself lack for coming across this site. i’m 32 old woman who is in a relationship for three now, i have ask my man for us to wait for our honeymoon before. he always try to convinced me for sex, though he didn’t complain when i refuse, it thought he is not happy with me and might think i don’t love him, i have decided to give him my virgnity, thus 4 days from now thus over the weekend when i came across this site today. this has made me overcome the temptation and i’m going to stand on my point

I am a Muslim, and sex before marriage is a HUGE SIN!

And I am gonna wait for marriage! Because that is an Islamic practice!

am 26 years old, i ve told my man to wait till after our weeding, one day he just told me that he can’t wait again but still i refuse to give him because i know is a great sin, but i don’t want to loss him.

At 32, I’m still waiting as well, getting married next month. Not really nervous just curious and anxious. There is something powerful about my future hubby being able to say that he is the ONLY man on this planet that has ever had me. Indeed VIRGINITY is a powerful thing!

Tasha: it’s the 7th commandment: Thou shalt not commit adultery. Adultery is sex outside of marriage.

Esgal: you rock! That is one of the most astute things I’ve ever heard anyone say. Virginity IS powerful. The Bible recognizes it as a powerful thing–that’s why you’re supposed to save it for marriage. It isn’t about repressing or denying that power–it’s about channeling it into the home and family life.

Those who advocate promiscuity also recognize virginity as powerful, and they are threatened by it. That is why they criticize people who wait so viciously. They don’t see it as a personal choice. They can see you have power in your hand and it scares them.

I am a virgin but I almost had sex and I feel guilty I put myself in that stupid situation but it almost went in but this might be weird thank god I had a tampon in so I snapped out of it and I am worried since it touched my * and almost went in. im worried im not a virgin still what do you think? and I will never let that happen again!

Sex for the First Time Wedding Night what is necessary to say in quran and start sex ?

My girlfriend & i have been into a steady relationship for 3 years now . initially she was not too keen on taking the plunge & consumating our relation. but i loved this girl so much ,that it took me a while to convince her on having sex with me. Even while i touched her all i could see is the fear in her eyes (that she would get pregnant). But then i almost melted while i made the first move . And before i could proceed any further, all she said is ” I TRUST YOU ! ”

AW.. MAN.. something in me just stopped me from doing what i was gonna do. I just pulled back & said
“i’ll wait till we get married.”

she was so happy & elated. she looked so beautiful.she knew i wasn’t just making out bacause i had only the sex part in my mind.

We are getting married this december & it feels great that the wait game will be well rewarded on our wedding night

I am glad that i chose to wait . sometimes its hard to keep off the temptation. But guys ..trust me !!
you’ll win her heart eventually & let her know how much she means to you.

We are an Indian couple and got married 9 months back. Due to several professional reasons we had to stay apart for 5 months after marriage. But now that we are together for the 4 months, we still havent had sex properly. I am very worried. Does it happen to others also that they are not able to do sex till so long inspite of staying together after marriage. Pls help.

Smith, now that the two of you are finally in the same place (at least I think that’s what you were trying to say), why haven’t you had sex yet? What’s the problem? Is it pain? Is it an erectile problem? Is it worry or fear? Let us know the specific problem and we might be able to direct you to someone who can give you more guidance. Thanks for sharing with us.

Hi Smith, Thanks for sharing with us. If I’m understanding you correctly, you have been together for four months as a married couple but still have not had sex. I’m sorry to hear that you are so worried. Can you tell us what is preventing you from having sex? Is it too painful for one of you? Is fear preventing you from going through with it? If we knew what the problem was, we might be able to point you toward people who can help.

Now, you can get involved in the debate – Should People Wait for Marriage to Have Sex? Here’s the link: http://newlyweds.about.com/b/2008/10/06/having-sex-for-the-first-time-on-your-we

Hi Guys, Im married 5 months and we waited for sex. I was a nervous wreck, and it hurt alot, and continued like that for weeks. my husband was and is so patient, loving, gentle. But we went through a period of time where we were avoiding sex because it was alot of work and may not be satisfactory at the end of it. We had to make a conscience decision then to do it more often, the more you do it the better it gets. I remember praying before it saying “please please God let this work, let us both have fun and be satisfied” and ya know what, it worked, I was more relaxed and sex has definitely gotten much better. We have soooo much more to learn but communciation is key, tell each other what you like and what you dont like, choose a suitable time in the day, 11pm may not be suitable as you may have work the next morning but if you prepare and are organised that helps alot. Candles, music and a reasonable time of the day is key!

My husband and I have been married for 14 years now, having dated for 5 years before marriage. We remained virgins until after our wedding. That was at times a challenge for my husband during our dating years, but the Word of God is very clear that sex outside of marriage is sin. Therefore, it was not an option for us. And so, overcoming the temptations is extremely character building as well as an honor to God. Our pastor advised us to not have elevated or pre-set ideas of what the sex would be like the first time – but, rather, to accept it how it was and accept that we would learn. He also encouraged us that sex would get better and richer as we grew in our marriage relationship. We were so glad for that advice, it helped so much.
On the practical side, the sex for the first time was a bit uncomfortable, but it helps so much if the man uses lubrication liberally and uses his finger to gently rub the vaginal area and relax it before inserting his penis. The woman can help by relaxing those muscles in the vaginal area as best as she can. As with anything, practice makes perfect… and remember – you are with some one you love and trust and that some one loves you in return!!

ha ihave been marriege since nearly two years and still virgin i havent have ant sex with my husband coz he was from me in these two years frm date of our marrigw i know its unblivable bt i honestly saying this and now we are going to meet each otha soo sooon so m alil excited have sex with him bt i have a ques the first time im going to have sex at that time ill have my periods so do you its alright to have sex for 1st time while having ur periods i hop i get the ans thanks

senoreta, you can have sex when you have your period. It’s a matter of personal taste. For some people it’s pleasurable because the woman is more lubricated. But some people don’t like it. It can be messy. You might want to put a towel under the two of you to avoid getting blood on your sheets. Also, when you have your period, you might be more sensitive, which might make you slightly uncomfortable. Whether you have sex before, during or after your period, just make sure to relax. Good luck!

I would like to participate and put my comment. In the beginning I say thank you for all guys and girls who said postpone sex after marraige specially girls, because when sex happens outside marraige contract. How can anyone (guys and girls) prove that the other partner will not do sex with someone else? marraige protect kids’ fathers from being unknow. I am muslim believer, I am with what some girls (religious girls) said that they see sex as a great sin and I want to say to them in Islam sex outside marraige contract is prohibited and great sin.

thank you for the reading.

tommorow is my wedding i want to have sex with my wife i have kissed her on her birthday 8 days ago. so ashould i ask her for sex or not

My husband and I were together for 4 years when we got married and I was a virgin, he was not. We agreed however to wait until we were married and I am SO GLAD that we did! Yes, the first time hurts but it gets soooo much better after that I also didn’t have to worry about the other things that come along with premarital sex– disease, birth control, pregnancy, etc. It’s so much less stressful to know that you’re married if you were to get pregnant and you won’t get a disease.

Also curious look at these:

1 Corinthians 7:7:28,34,36-38: Virginity is assumed for unmarried women just as in the Old Testament. Virginity is still the standard for God’s people in the New Covenant.

1 Corinthians 6:16-18: Sexual intimacy “unites” you with your spouse. Outside of marriage this is called “sexual immorality.”

1 Corinthians 7:1-2: Marriage is recommended avoid sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9: Premarital sex isn’t an option for dealing with lust. Marriage is once again recommended avoid sexual immorality.

Ephesians 5:31: Paul is affirming the Old Testament standard of uniting in flesh only with your spouse. One fleshness is to happen when a man is “united to his wife.”

1 Thessalonians 4:2-8: “Acquire a wife in a way that is holy and honorable” or you are in sexual immorality. Sexual sin harms others besides those who engage in it. Premarital sex “cheats” the future spouse by robbing him or her of the virginity that ought to be brought to marriage.

Hebrews 13:4: It is a pure marriage bed or you are an “adulterer” or “sexually immoral.”

1 Timothy 5:2: As a Christian man, if you are not married to her, then she is your sister whom you must treat “with absolute purity.”

2 Corinthians 11:2: Although this passage is talking about Christ and His people, it uses the analogy of a Christian man receiving his bride “as a pure virgin.” Virginity was the ideal. Premarital sex was viewed as sexual immorality – just as in the Old Testament.

The Bible doesn’t always say things explicitly. After all, where does it explicitly say that Christians should celebrate Christmas and Easter, or that smoking pot is bad?

I am virgin too……but when i tell guys that i am a virgin they are shocked …..some of them llike my virginity and some of them,don’t. but i myself don’t believe in having sex before marriage….i think on wedding night there should be some new for couples………i try to keep my virginity before marriage

I am a virgin too……but when i tell guys that i am a virgin they are shocked …..some of them llike my virginity and some of them,don’t. but i myself don’t believe in having sex before marriage….i think on wedding night there should be some new for couples………i try to keep my virginity before marriage

Hello I am 16 and I think it is wrong to have sex BEFORE marrage. It says in the bible that only man and wife should see eachother naked.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25 kjv

Your virginity is so precious and you should gard it with all you have. Even if you belive with all your heart that you’ve found you soulmate still DON’T have sex with them. God has someone out there for each one of us.

I personlel don’t DATE I COURTSHIP. Courtship is like dateing but there is no phyical contact with them until you are engage and the you can hold hands.

The best choice you could make in life is waiting until your weeding night.

I am 27 years old, male. My marriage has been fixed. I came to know from my fiancee’s cousin that she has dated someone. Though cousin told me that relationship never ended in an intercourse, she doesn’t have a hymen.(I know she is talking through her cousin) Though we never talked, I know my fiancee loves me & wants me as her husband as she knows me well thru her cousin..Can I trust the cousin’s words or could he be hiding the truth from me fearing she will lose me. If he is hiding it then, won’t I be doing a sin by having sex with her after the marriage..? I am a virgin & I had many temptations for sex in the past, but I somehow managed to stay away from them..I believe in my God & The Bible and I strongly believe this pulled me away from those temptations. NOW , I am really confused…If I stay away from this marriage & if what they said was correct then, I will be hurting her and if I blindly believes what they claim and go on with the marriage, I will be doing sin against God. Can anyone provide me a suggestion…??? My hair has started turning grey now thinking on this and I definetly don’t want to be a 27 year ‘OLD’ guy…

i believe we should wait for the wedding night the exact time to have sex. because this makes sex more pleasureful and amazing. though i am a virgin.

Renjith, congratulations on your decision to get married. That’s a big step in a person’s life, and I see that you’re trying hard to take it seriously and weigh your options carefully. I personally would try to get to know the woman I am considering marrying to find out if you are in love and if you had similar views and values when it comes to practical matters such as money, raising a family, where to live, etc. Waiting for marriage to have sex is a personal choice, and I respect that you have made this decision. But there are many other important issues to consider when deciding whether to get married. Also, women can lose their hymen in many ways — even on a bicycle — and it’s common for that to happen without having sex. Some women don’t even bleed the first time they have sex.

whether a christian or not it is absalotely wrong n sin to hav sex b4 marriage….what is this yuck having date ,,,,,

Well, I waited. And it wasn’t worth the wait. But I speak only from personal experience; your mileage may vary depending on who you marry. Sex is a gift from God, a door gift to be precise. You get it only if you go to the party, which is marriage. On the way to the party you hear fantastic, gushing superlatives being used to describe it, revving up your expectations of heavenly bliss. But when you enter (no pun intended), no gift is forthcoming, or when you finally get it after much petition, it is a piece of cheap plastic reluctantly flung in your general direction to quell your whining. Unlike most gifts, you can’t throw sex in the garbage, exchange it at the store or give it away at a white elephant gift exchange. Sex is one gift that will demand your attention till the day you die.

Some gift.

My husband and i were both virgins till our wedding night.Ya it was tough at times very tempting but we made a promise to God and each other that we would wait till we were married. It was so worth the wait we didn’t have to worry about STD’s or pregnancy or being compared to previous partners it was very special and sweet. So good luck to everyone who’s waiting believe me you wont be disapointed:)

We’re cheating- i can totally relate. My now husband and i were skating on thin ice and straddling the fence often. We didn’t want to “do everything else” but we did to avoid intercourse. i will say that we didn’t indulge fully until our wedding day. that is what i tell people and that is what is true…. only thing is, we indulged 12 hours prior to taking our vows. The bottom line is that God’s word is true and we need to all wait for this special gift of intimacy called sex. Do we fall short in varying degrees- yes. God’s word says that we have all fallen short of the glory of God but we are all called to press our way toward the mark of God’s holiness. Reflecting His image in our mortal bodies. Even though we did not follow everything to the letter i can agree with the other comments here that waiting however much you did wait blesses your marriage tremendously and pleases the Lord. It is much easier to not start in the first place- however even if you find that you messed up its not too late to do the right thing. May God bless you.