Wordless Wednesday Holiday Deployment

Army 1st Heavy Brigade Combat Team Captain Bob Kolb and his wife of seven months, Lisa, fill out commitment cards as part of a vow renewal ceremony on Dec. 12, 2009, ahead of Kolb's deployment to Iraq. © Photo by Stephen Morton/Getty Images

My husband left for Italy yesterday, so he could spend the holidays with his mother and sisters. I'm pretty sad, but then I think of the many military families who will be separated by oceans and war over the holiday season. And my situation isn't all that bad. A case of the sniffles and some bad fruit cake is about the worst my husband will have to confront while he's gone. I can't imagine living with the worry of having a loved one in combat in Iraq or Afghanistan or some other war torn part of the world. The holidays must be particularly hard because during this time of year, you have a need to be close to your spouse and all the people with whom you feel close.

Those who are deployed are often gone for one year or more. Being apart for so long can be tough on a marriage. There are temptations, and it's difficult to keep to your commitments. Recognizing this, the Army had soldiers and their spouses recently take part in a vow renewal ceremony. It had them promising once again to commit to one another. It's a way to continue to build trust. Maybe having their vows fresh in their minds will help couples fight temptation and stay true to one another. What do you think?

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My husband left for Italy tonight. He'll be spending the holidays there, while I stay in the United States. We often rely on webcams, text messages, and phone calls when we are in different continents. Lately, however, I have been hearing about couples sexting each other or sending each other sexy text messages. Often, these messages are between those who are having affairs and not spouses. But spouses might consider sexting, especially when they can't be together. It's the new cyber sex, after all. I don't know if we're ready for it. But I do think if sexting can help couples keep their passion alive, they should consider it. What do you think? Take our poll below.

My husband is going to visit his mom in Italy for Christmas and I'll be in the States, so we celebrated the holiday together yesterday. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. He basically liked two of his stocking stuffers and none of the other gifts I picked out. He's convinced the button-down will make him look fat and swears he never wears sweaters even though I know he wears at least one while he's with me in the States. I already decided to regift, so relatives and friends who fit into an extra large should get ready for goodies. In the end, I declared I would never buy my husband another article of clothing again. I cried. And then I felt like I don't even know this person -- my husband -- at all. It put me in a foul mood and had me feeling like a grinch all day.

Those of you who celebrate Christmas have a few days to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes I did. If your husband or wife is particularly picky about clothes, don't buy them for him or her. Come up with another gift idea. You could do something, such as a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant, spa treatments for two (which is a gift for you, too), or some sort of electronic gadget (think flat screen, Wii, etc.) Or you could opt to make a more sentimental gift or give your spouse a freebie (think massages, kisses, and hot sex).

If you are courageous enough to buy clothes for your husband or wife, refrain from picking items in which you would like to see him or her. Choose items that you think he or she would like and that match their taste. I mistakenly chose a sweater and shirt combo that I thought would make my husband look even more handsome, but the look made him feel fat. If I had just thought more about what he likes and less about what I like, I might have chosen better. Learn from my mistakes.

As I was crying because of my disappointment that these gifts I spent hours picking out and wrapping did not bring him pleasure, my husband came over, hugged me, and told me I was the greatest gift he ever received. That's something special -- and we should all be grateful for our spouses everyday but especially during this time of year. The gift isn't as important as the meaning and sentiment behind it. Indeed, it is the thought that counts.

Wordless Wednesday Holiday Decorating

Christmas trees at Disney World inspire visitors to decorate their own homes for the holidays. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

My husband and I returned late last night from a vacation at Disney World. Now, I'm more in the holiday spirit than ever. I'm all about decorating my house with greens and garland and ornaments galore. Lucky for me About.com is offering a helping hand for anyone who wants to make their holidays -- and their home -- extra special. Here is some help for us all --

Holiday Survival Guide for Newlyweds

Budget Decorating for the Holidays

Decorating and Craft Ideas

More Wordless Wednesday Photos from Other Bloggers

We've all heard of babymoons, where couples who are already expecting a child take a vacation before the baby is born. But what about couples who are having trouble getting pregnant and take a vacation to try and conceive? Some people believe that stress can really get in the way of conception. Taking a vacation is a way to ease stress and unwind. Getting away from your chores at work and in the home can help you clear your mind and focus on the two of you and getting pregnant.

The idea is that sex - even if it is for the purpose of breeding this time around - won't feel like a job if you're on vacation in a hotel. I think the best thing to do in these circumstances is to take the vacation, enjoy each other's company, and let nature take its course. If you still aren't pregnant after all that, you can see a doctor to find out if you have some other trouble that needs to be addressed. One thing is certain de-stressing is a good thing to do whether you want a baby or not. Stress puts undo pressure on your relationship and your health. Everything is rosier if you're calm. Of course, relaxing is easier said than done. I need a little bit of that zen myself.

Now, I have to ask, would you take a vacation to get pregnant? Do you think that's a good idea?

I've always been all about saving money, but this economic crisis has me saving money on a whole new level. Suddenly, if one piece of pineapple goes uneaten before getting rotten, I feel like a failure. As a result, I've tried to make the most of leftovers. I've noticed my friends are doing the same. I recently used leftover boneless chicken and inexpensive cream of chicken soup and frozen vegetables to make chicken pot pie. It wasn't the biggest hit ever, but my husband ate the chicken pot pie at the dinner party and for lunch soon afterward, so it couldn't have been that bad. My friend took the leftover pumpkin risotto she made for Thanksgiving and used it to make arancini, Italian rice balls. They were savory and sweet and delicious. Grilled chicken can become a chicken salad sandwich or stuffing for a fajita or wrap. Leftover bread can become bread crumbs or toasted croutons for your salad. Fruit can be used to make smoothies or fruit salad. Don't wait for it to melt into its rottenness and leave behind a sticky film and horrendous odor. Eat it! Just eat it!

God bless my husband, he loves to shop. He can spend hours and hours in one store looking at everything, trying on clothes, contemplating the value of various items, and deciding what to purchase. He can calculate sale prices at lightening speed. He loves stuff. It brings a smile to his face and a skip to his step. I, on the other hand, enjoy shopping but I like to get into the store, get what I need, and get out. I hang out in a corner or find a chair while my husband browses. I'm the one with all the coats and bags on top of me. I wait for him to come out of the dressing room and I am the one who messes up when I don't respond quickly enough when he asks if those jeans make him look fat. Sometimes I respond to e-mail or play games on my cell phone while I wait and wait.

Holiday shopping together has been an experience. He wants to seek out the perfect gift and is rarely satisfied. We'll walk in to a store to buy a gift for one of the people with whom we exchange holiday presents, and we'll walk out with something for us or him. It's not right. But he can't help himself. He gets distracted. He comes from an island in Italy with limited shopping. When he gets to New Jersey, arguably the mall capital of the world, with all its outlets and department stores, he doesn't know where to turn first. It's like a shopper's paradise. He squeals like a pig in mud. I, on the other hand, just want to get the gifts, wrap them, and give them to people, so my office no longer looks like one of Santa's elves threw up in it. We still have about six people on our shopping list. I hope we can survive it.

What is it like for you and your husband or wife when you shop together? Have you been able to finish the holiday shopping?

Some modern couples think the wooden hutch or china closet is uncool and old-fashioned. But I chose my dining room set because of the large china closet. It stores everything - from our casual white dishes and serving platters to crystal vases and family heirlooms that I love to display. Without it, I'd be lost. Our kitchen is small and has few cabinets for storage. The china closet picks up the slack. The drawers allow plenty of room for everything from knives to candles. The lower cabinets are home to serving pieces, some fabric napkins and place mats, and chargers for when we have company. Plus, the china closet I chose has a dark wooden finish with lots of detail, elegant glass doors and lights that shine on our pretty plates and mementoes. It is the focal point of our dining room and living room because the two rooms are contained in one open space. Without the china closet, my traditional home wouldn't be so traditional. Consider this my plea in defense of the china closet. It can be charming and fancy without being old-fashioned, boring, or even fussy. And it allows for tons of extra storage, some of which becomes a decorative showcase for your home.

The other day I was really angry with my husband. We had guests coming over, which we had both forgotten about. When I called to remind him, he had to change his plans, which frustrated him. When he returned home earlier than he intended, he was cranky. I was already annoyed because my work day wasn't going as I had planned either, so we argued.

I couldn't stand the thought of having to yell at him and get back to work and then welcome our guests with a big smile. So, I just walked out the door and went for a walk. I left my cell phone and computer behind, so it was just me and my feet. All I had, in fact, were my keys.

Why go for a walk when you're angry? Well, for one, it helps you clear your head and put the argument in perspective. It gives you a chance to reflect on the other person's feelings and his or her side of the discussion. Moving and taking in the fresh air - even when it's cold out like it was for me the other day - makes you feel better. It wakes you up. You take in a couple of deep breaths outside and you feel like a new person. For me the most important reason to go for a walk is to prevent yourself from saying things that you'll regret later. In the heat of the moment, I lose my cool -- and I hate feeling guilty afterward. This way, everyone wins. We take a break from the fight, I get some time outdoors, my husband gets some alone time, and then we can meet up later and work things out when we've both given more thought to everything. This trick - taking a walk when you're angry - doesn't only work with your husband or wife. You can use it to calm down after fighting with parents, your boss, anyone.

Please note that the Newlyweds site will again participate in Wordless Wednesday next week.

The first snow of the season recently fell in New Jersey, and my husband and I were at the Statue of Liberty with my mother and a friend of ours. Even though there were other people with us, there's something romantic about falling snow. It made the statue even more magical. When it snows, you just want to cuddle up and get cozy, perhaps with hot chocolate and a fire. We were in the mood for holiday music, and we even took pictures of the flakes as they were coming down in front of our door. I decided that snow days are a gift from God when He wants us to slow down and spend time with our loved ones. The next snowfall is going to be just my hubby and me - and we'll make it as romantic as possible. I've already stocked up on the hot chocolate and blankets.